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roomate hell

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by beauutyy, Oct 25, 2011.

  1. beauutyy

    beauutyy Well-Known Member

    so i moved out of state to live with my once awesome bestfriend. we never had issues before when we lived together and the 7 months that i have been here have been hell! she always nags at me, makes fun of me and is always makin me feel insecure. i just dont understand. i have tried discussin the issues several times and she acts like she isnt doin anythin wrong. idk. i dont make enough to live on my own and movin back home isnt a good idea cause
    my mom has emotional absuive pattern that she releases on me. im startin to think maybe my friend was always like this and i never noticed because i lived with my mom and i cldnt see it? i dont know and i have no friends here so i cant even get away from her. ugh some days are better than others but most of the time i wishin i had a social life so i cld get away from her. and she is older than me so she naturally sees me as inferior. idk what to do! help?

  2. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry it sounds like you have yourself in a bit of a bind there.

    A couple thoughts and suggestions. My main one would be that you should look for somewhere else to live with another roommate. Find ways to meet new people and get a group of friends, it could be through online or from your work, wherever. Be careful though if you're lonely you're more likely to take the attention from someone who isn't genuine and may have ulterior motives.

    Your roommate may view her nagging and making fun of you as teasing you. Again if it makes you feel bad and you express this to her and she dismisses it then that isn't right. It's unlikely the situation is going to change.

    Another option is to poke back and her so in a way she knows what it feels like which may back track her behavior. I wouldn't really recommend this but you could nag at her and make fun of her.

    Not having any other friends doesn't sound good at all, you're basically isolated without any in person support. Wish I could help somehow good luck though :hug:.
  3. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    someone who makes you feel insecure is NOT A FRIEND.
  4. therapy_fan

    therapy_fan Well-Known Member

  5. beauutyy

    beauutyy Well-Known Member

    thankyouh for the advice! and i try to get out and such its really hard to make friends here in california. i been tryin to work on my appearance because anyone i end up meetin is all shallow n shit. blehh. but i been lookin, and aw your reply was more than enough- it made me feel like someone finally listened to me. it relieved me alot.
    :sigh: i figured her attitude wldnt change though i mean she is 25 so she is pretty set in how she is goin to act and whatnot. idk. she has told me though she doesnt like to see people happy and im usually naturally bubbly and such so i think alot of the time she does it to just change my mood. i can only hope in time that maybe i can meet others. but thankyouh!
  6. beauutyy

    beauutyy Well-Known Member

    aww :hug:
  7. beauutyy

    beauutyy Well-Known Member

    yeah idk she is the only person that i have here. but im tryin to find other friends so im hopin to get away from her. lately its been hard to even look at her without gettin upset on the inside. and sometimes i get ao upset i have to go on a walk to calm down. blahhh. ha and when i moved i thought this was goin to be fun n shit. boy was i wrong.
  8. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Beauuty, I saw your thread title and shuddered - I had my own roommate hell once, and I feel for you.

    I honestly don't think you are the problem in this situation. The biggest clue is that you say your roommate doesn't like to see people happy. Erm, what sort of attitude is that? Mean-spirited, jealous, cynical, insecure, I would guess. Someone who is like that is not someone whose opinion you need to measure yourself by, imo.

    If you are a naturally bubbly, happy person, there is nothing wrong with that. I'm sure you're serious when you need to be, but your general outlook on life is positive. Please don't let your roommate's issues (and they are hers, not yours!) influence you or your sense of self-worth.

    You've noted that you tried discussing this with her. How about skipping the "discussion" and next time just tell her to back off and stop trying to bring you down? People say that "confronting" a bully can stop them. Discussion is sometimes too civilized for people who just want to hurt/bully others.

    You have a lot going for you - the bubbly personality, the motivation to have moved, and the perseverance to keep going out and trying, the desire to succeed. Your roommate does not have to be the focus of your life...as you make other connections, I'm sure you'll find that she and her attitude won't take up so much of your time and your thoughts.

    Let us know how you're doing. :hug:
  9. eagles_fan

    eagles_fan Well-Known Member

    Is she being real when she's joking on you or just fucking around?
  10. Chops

    Chops New Member

    Acy has the right idea. I would simply tell her to mind her own business and to do her own thing and ignore her. If she keeps pestering you, then just think to yourself about the fact that she has nothing better to do with her time and thats her own issue.
  11. beauutyy

    beauutyy Well-Known Member

    i thougt it was joke at first but itold her i dont find it funny. i have a stutter sometimes and she will pester me about that and then she makes fun of my weight and lately its gotten worse because we have to move back with her mama for a bit (her mom had surgery and her younger sister got fired from her job so they need help) and ik that stresses jer our.because there will be four ppl in a one bedroom apt. we are only stay for a few months but i still dont believe that shld make it okay for her to take her inner frustrations out on me.
  12. beauutyy

    beauutyy Well-Known Member

    awww im glad u understand! im sorry you had to go thru that hell! :hug: but i really appreicate everything you have said. i wi def try to ignore her or just tell her to back the fuck off. ha. but i know that once i establish a friend group here without her things wont be as tension filled. currently we live in a bedroom and soon we will be movin back in with her mama n sister---all in a one bedroom too. so i just know that i dont think her attitude will improve any time soon. blehh but thankyou again :)