I made an attempt last week. It didn't get very far, but I took 10 pills of Nyquil. Enough to make me throw up and shake and sweat, but ultimately, nowhere near enough to actually kill me. My roommate saw the remaining <Mod Edit, IrishDoll: Methods> He told me he'll hate me if I attempt again and he has to stick his fingers down my throat to make me throw up or if I die. He says he's terrified for me, and he's BEGGING me to get on antidepressants. I really do not want to take drugs (not much more effective than a placebo, and as effective as regular exercise). Also, the counseling center at my school won't see me unless I take antidepressants, so I had to find a psychologist that I'll have to PAY. Fortunately, I found a guy that sounds really nice. However, despite my roommate saying he WILL hate me, I feel like he already does. We've been bickering over everything (and actually, a fight we had was the final straw that made me make that attempt, when I wouldn't tell him what was wrong.) We've been kind of avoiding each other and we're supposed to have a talk about the constant bickering on Saturday. Even deciding the TIME lead to a fight. He's my only real friend, particularly at college, and I just want us to be ok again. I really, REALLY miss him. But I don't feel like I can talk about any of this stuff with him. I can tell he's frustrated with me and doesn't really want to be around me. I feel like anything I do will push him away. This whole situation just makes me want to die even more than I did before, and I can't concentrate on school because I'm so preoccupied with feeling hated by my best friend. There have been some up-points in my day, but just today, I think I spent most of it being miserable or suicidal. He wants to wait to talk on saturday, but I don't know if I can wait that long. I need to know that the one person who knows what's going on supports me. Anyway, I don't know what else to say. I just needed to release this, and since no one knows about my attempt except the psychologist I talked to, my roommate, and my counselor, this was really my only option. Has anyone else had a similar problem?