Rot op!
- Thread starter Sa Palomera
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Godverdommese kutwijf! Waarom moet ik het verdomme hier lezen?! Niemand die mij verdomme ff inlicht? Ik moet het maar toevallig hier lezen?! En dan zou ik zoveel waard zijn. Ja hoor. Fuck it! Waardeloos. Deze situatie EN ik! Al dat gezever. Spuugzat ben ik het. Kut dat ik dit zeg maar ik kan beter niet met jou bezig zijn. Als me niet eens verteld wordt dat je in het ziekenhuis ligt, beteken ik blijkbaar toch niet zo veel voor je. Veel plezier met haar. Ik hoop dat zij je wel gelukkig kan maken. And i'm fuckin glad that i'm workin 38hrs a week and go away every weekend and my laptop broke. At least won't have all this shit to worry about. 
s'alright. hugs are always welcome :hug: back :smile:
So what a week it's been. one hell of a week if u ask me :rolleyes:
On Monday I got up from the couch, fell right back down, onto the table, thereby bruising me back/side. now there's an enormous bruise on there. And it's still sore.
On Tuesday night I got drunk and decided that i could skateboard, even in that state. Hell no. Going for skateboard rides in the living room when having had half a bottle of Jägermeister is NOT a good idea. The skateboard kept sliding from underneath me, so now me hip/leg is all bruised.
On Wednesday, at work, i was unloading some stuff and this huge elastic band to keep the load on the cart slipped out of me hand, thereby catapulting the metal end right into my face. My cheekbones hurt for a few days. thank god it's over now. At least it doesn't hurt anymore. :dunno:
Thursday nothing much *knocks wood*, just a few paper cuts etc. Friday same again.
On Saturday I heard some bad news about someone I love.
And then Sunday.
My step mum and I went to visit my sister who lives on the other side of the country. (She lives on one side of the country, my parents on the other and I live somewhere in between), as she and her girlfriend have bought a new house and my dad is working there to get everything fixed and shit. So we drove there, parked our car practically across the window.
I had all my stuff in there, cos my parents would drop me off at home on the way back as i don't have the money for train tickets and such. (yeah I'm broke, which sucks butt. hooray for having to pay off debts every month and seeing most of ur wages go to the landlord cos ur behind on rent and see so much of what u earn going to debt-pay offs etc.)
Anyway, around 5.30pm we went back to the car and boom. Apparently someone knocked into the backseat window, and stole my bags. They took my two bags with books, clothes, games, wallet, keys etc. They left my skates and my brand new Dido album.
My bank cards, insurance card, donor card, driving license, ID card, everything gone. And i don't give a shit about that. Who cares about the 3 euros that were in the wallet and the 2 euros they can take off my bank accounts. i don't care. what i DO care about, however, is the fact that they also took the belt i got from Samy back in 2007, and the pictures of my mother, which were about the only pictures I have/had of her. And worst of all. There was ONE thing i had, ONE picture of my mate who passed away back in 2004. ONE picture. And it was in my wallet. It was the only thing i had of her.
not to mention, my step mum has spent so much money on me this weekend already. She paid the gift for my auntie, so I could buy the new dido album (she knows how much I am obsessed with Dido), and she drove all the way to Germany with me just so I could go get the album. Then when we saw the Limited Edition of the CD and we noticed I didn't have enough money to buy that rather than the regular album, she paid half of the album for me. She gave me some food and little things. she cooked my favourite food all weekend, she offered to drop me off home on our way back from our sister, even though it's a bit of a detour for them. And now I am the one who caused them even more money, cos I'm stupid enough to leave me bags in the car, IN SIGHT. Now it cost them a new window, new locks at their house (I had the key to their front door AND mail with their address on it in the bags that've been stolen), And still they gave me 45 euros to get through this week (as I have no bank cards or anything).
I feel so guilty.
i caused them so much shit over the past 2 years. And still they are so nice to me now.
They even agreed with me that my uncle had gone too far two weeks ago.
You see I ran into my uncle who I see like... what... twice a year..... anyway i ran into him 2 weeks ago when i was back in my old hometown for a dinner with some mates. And he started having a go at me about how i'm fucking up my life now I'm not going to school/uni/college or anything. and how my sister does have everything in order.
i thought he was out of line, because Who is He to judge me, and he doesn't even know shit about my situation. And secondly , who is he to compare me to my sister. I've had enough of that in my life, don't need him to do that too.
And besides, my sister doesn't have a diploma yet either, and she's home now, at doc's orders cos she's at the verge of a burn-out. :dry:
So WHO THE FUCK is he to judge me!!??
I am fucking busting my ass off, working 35-40hrs a week to get all my debts paid off, I get a lot of responsibilities at work, they're happy with me, they would rather I'd stay longer than just one year. I'm no longer in therapy, I am back in touch with some of my family. I have friends, I have a cat.
WHO IS HE TO JUDGE ME!?? :dry:
bah sorry for the long rant. this isn't even all that's bothering me this fucked up week, but I'm done for now :unsure:
So what a week it's been. one hell of a week if u ask me :rolleyes:
On Monday I got up from the couch, fell right back down, onto the table, thereby bruising me back/side. now there's an enormous bruise on there. And it's still sore.
On Tuesday night I got drunk and decided that i could skateboard, even in that state. Hell no. Going for skateboard rides in the living room when having had half a bottle of Jägermeister is NOT a good idea. The skateboard kept sliding from underneath me, so now me hip/leg is all bruised.
On Wednesday, at work, i was unloading some stuff and this huge elastic band to keep the load on the cart slipped out of me hand, thereby catapulting the metal end right into my face. My cheekbones hurt for a few days. thank god it's over now. At least it doesn't hurt anymore. :dunno:
Thursday nothing much *knocks wood*, just a few paper cuts etc. Friday same again.
On Saturday I heard some bad news about someone I love.
And then Sunday.
My step mum and I went to visit my sister who lives on the other side of the country. (She lives on one side of the country, my parents on the other and I live somewhere in between), as she and her girlfriend have bought a new house and my dad is working there to get everything fixed and shit. So we drove there, parked our car practically across the window.
I had all my stuff in there, cos my parents would drop me off at home on the way back as i don't have the money for train tickets and such. (yeah I'm broke, which sucks butt. hooray for having to pay off debts every month and seeing most of ur wages go to the landlord cos ur behind on rent and see so much of what u earn going to debt-pay offs etc.)
Anyway, around 5.30pm we went back to the car and boom. Apparently someone knocked into the backseat window, and stole my bags. They took my two bags with books, clothes, games, wallet, keys etc. They left my skates and my brand new Dido album.
My bank cards, insurance card, donor card, driving license, ID card, everything gone. And i don't give a shit about that. Who cares about the 3 euros that were in the wallet and the 2 euros they can take off my bank accounts. i don't care. what i DO care about, however, is the fact that they also took the belt i got from Samy back in 2007, and the pictures of my mother, which were about the only pictures I have/had of her. And worst of all. There was ONE thing i had, ONE picture of my mate who passed away back in 2004. ONE picture. And it was in my wallet. It was the only thing i had of her.
not to mention, my step mum has spent so much money on me this weekend already. She paid the gift for my auntie, so I could buy the new dido album (she knows how much I am obsessed with Dido), and she drove all the way to Germany with me just so I could go get the album. Then when we saw the Limited Edition of the CD and we noticed I didn't have enough money to buy that rather than the regular album, she paid half of the album for me. She gave me some food and little things. she cooked my favourite food all weekend, she offered to drop me off home on our way back from our sister, even though it's a bit of a detour for them. And now I am the one who caused them even more money, cos I'm stupid enough to leave me bags in the car, IN SIGHT. Now it cost them a new window, new locks at their house (I had the key to their front door AND mail with their address on it in the bags that've been stolen), And still they gave me 45 euros to get through this week (as I have no bank cards or anything).
I feel so guilty.
i caused them so much shit over the past 2 years. And still they are so nice to me now.
They even agreed with me that my uncle had gone too far two weeks ago.
You see I ran into my uncle who I see like... what... twice a year..... anyway i ran into him 2 weeks ago when i was back in my old hometown for a dinner with some mates. And he started having a go at me about how i'm fucking up my life now I'm not going to school/uni/college or anything. and how my sister does have everything in order.
i thought he was out of line, because Who is He to judge me, and he doesn't even know shit about my situation. And secondly , who is he to compare me to my sister. I've had enough of that in my life, don't need him to do that too.
And besides, my sister doesn't have a diploma yet either, and she's home now, at doc's orders cos she's at the verge of a burn-out. :dry:
So WHO THE FUCK is he to judge me!!??
I am fucking busting my ass off, working 35-40hrs a week to get all my debts paid off, I get a lot of responsibilities at work, they're happy with me, they would rather I'd stay longer than just one year. I'm no longer in therapy, I am back in touch with some of my family. I have friends, I have a cat.
WHO IS HE TO JUDGE ME!?? :dry:
bah sorry for the long rant. this isn't even all that's bothering me this fucked up week, but I'm done for now :unsure:
Hè essie, sorry van dat gedoe met jvogel >.< Mja ik zou allemaal redes kunnen verzinnen waarom je niet ingelicht was, maar dat doe ik niet, lol, kmag dat kind niet echt, maar dat vind ik :unsure:
Dat meen je toch niet van die inbraak, ach meis wat erg :sad: :hug: Heb je het wel bij de politie gemeld, want misschien vinden ze de tas nog terug, meestal pakken ze dan snel wat ze denken dat waardenvol is en gooien ze de rest ergens neer. Dus misschien heeft iemand het gevonden.
En maak je geen zorgen over dat je ouders je geld geven, dat horen ouders gewoon te doen. Mja ik snap het wel, want dat wil ik zelf absoluut niet, vind het vreselijk als ze iets voor mij betalen. Maar je hebt gewoon die hulp nodig, ooit zullen ze jouw hulp nodig hebben en dan ben jij er voor ze. Dat hoort erbij.
Wat je oom bedreft, kei goed dat je inziet dat je te ver gaat. En jezus, ik vind echt vergeleken met zon 2 jaar geleden dat je nu echt zo hard je best doet om alles op te lossen, op een rijtje te krijgen enzo. Echt echt super knap wat je allemaal bereikt hebt, ik vind je geweldig en als ik dat zeg, dan is dat ook waar en dan is die oom van je waarschijnlijk gewoon op zn hoofd gevallen toen die baby was, lijkt me de meest logische verklaring, voor die idiote denkwijze, opmerkingen, actie van hem.
:hug: :hug: :hug:
Dat meen je toch niet van die inbraak, ach meis wat erg :sad: :hug: Heb je het wel bij de politie gemeld, want misschien vinden ze de tas nog terug, meestal pakken ze dan snel wat ze denken dat waardenvol is en gooien ze de rest ergens neer. Dus misschien heeft iemand het gevonden.
En maak je geen zorgen over dat je ouders je geld geven, dat horen ouders gewoon te doen. Mja ik snap het wel, want dat wil ik zelf absoluut niet, vind het vreselijk als ze iets voor mij betalen. Maar je hebt gewoon die hulp nodig, ooit zullen ze jouw hulp nodig hebben en dan ben jij er voor ze. Dat hoort erbij.
Wat je oom bedreft, kei goed dat je inziet dat je te ver gaat. En jezus, ik vind echt vergeleken met zon 2 jaar geleden dat je nu echt zo hard je best doet om alles op te lossen, op een rijtje te krijgen enzo. Echt echt super knap wat je allemaal bereikt hebt, ik vind je geweldig en als ik dat zeg, dan is dat ook waar en dan is die oom van je waarschijnlijk gewoon op zn hoofd gevallen toen die baby was, lijkt me de meest logische verklaring, voor die idiote denkwijze, opmerkingen, actie van hem.
:hug: :hug: :hug:
u fucking stood me up! Like that!
We are mates, aren't we? And u were supposed to come here today so we can go to my sister together tomorrow.
Now u text me like an hour after ur supposed to be here, i've been waiting with dinner and everything for u, and ur like "been sick all week, whether we can go tomorrow depends on my meds, if they work".
It'll take u 2 hours to get here by train and from here to my sister is another 2 hours, u really think that's going to happen??
i was supposed to see my step mum, she told me on the phone earlier how much she's looking forward to seeing me, she doesn't like being around there, especially not for this long (she's been there since wednesday already cos my dad has to work in the house), and was looking forward to seeing me. And i was looking forward to seeing her. I've been having a really hard time not seeing her this week. I really miss her and I know I'm being a c*** blaming u cos ur not at fault. if I hadn't had my fucking stuff stolen I would've gone up there myself tomorrow. i would've gone visit, cos I would've bought me a train ticket. But no, me, the c*** that I am, needed to leave me bags in the car last weekend, causing them to be stolen.
Fuck this.
We are mates, aren't we? And u were supposed to come here today so we can go to my sister together tomorrow.
Now u text me like an hour after ur supposed to be here, i've been waiting with dinner and everything for u, and ur like "been sick all week, whether we can go tomorrow depends on my meds, if they work".
It'll take u 2 hours to get here by train and from here to my sister is another 2 hours, u really think that's going to happen??
i was supposed to see my step mum, she told me on the phone earlier how much she's looking forward to seeing me, she doesn't like being around there, especially not for this long (she's been there since wednesday already cos my dad has to work in the house), and was looking forward to seeing me. And i was looking forward to seeing her. I've been having a really hard time not seeing her this week. I really miss her and I know I'm being a c*** blaming u cos ur not at fault. if I hadn't had my fucking stuff stolen I would've gone up there myself tomorrow. i would've gone visit, cos I would've bought me a train ticket. But no, me, the c*** that I am, needed to leave me bags in the car last weekend, causing them to be stolen.
Fuck this.
het is verdomme allemaal zo oneerlijk :cry:
Sharon is alweer meer dan 4 jaar dood, Sarah al bijna 3 maanden, en nu Gabe alweer een week.
Gek he, 2 jaar geleden maakte ik me constant zorgen om V., bang dat zij zichzelf iets zou aandoen, en nu, 2 jaar later, is Sarah dood, iemand om wie ik me geen zorgen maakte. in ieder geval niet dat ze zichzelf van kant zou maken. Ik maakte me wel zorgen om haar, omdat het slecht met haar ging, maar ze zei die zaterdag nog dat ik me geen zorgen hoefde te maken.
Gabe. ja, Gabe. Ik mis haar. Ze had zo'n warme stem. ik wilde haar nog bellen zodra ik geld had. :cry:
GAH! Life's not fair. :rolleyes:
:cry: :cry: :cry:
Sharon is alweer meer dan 4 jaar dood, Sarah al bijna 3 maanden, en nu Gabe alweer een week.
Gek he, 2 jaar geleden maakte ik me constant zorgen om V., bang dat zij zichzelf iets zou aandoen, en nu, 2 jaar later, is Sarah dood, iemand om wie ik me geen zorgen maakte. in ieder geval niet dat ze zichzelf van kant zou maken. Ik maakte me wel zorgen om haar, omdat het slecht met haar ging, maar ze zei die zaterdag nog dat ik me geen zorgen hoefde te maken.
Gabe. ja, Gabe. Ik mis haar. Ze had zo'n warme stem. ik wilde haar nog bellen zodra ik geld had. :cry:
GAH! Life's not fair. :rolleyes:
:cry: :cry: :cry:
Wow, amazing weekend. Yeah, fucking amazing. Best birthday party I could've wished for, abso-fucking-lutely.
Such pointless bullshit really.
FUCK YOU. JUST, FUCK YOU.
Is it that hard to respond to an email, no wait, TWO emails, in which I ask to let me know whether y'all are coming or not? I spent fucking 200 euros on groceries, and booze and what not because I'd expected quite a few people to come over. But no. Why go to Est's party?
You've let me down.
And YOU. I'm not even starting about you. Fucking ****. You have no clue how angry you've made me.
But 'suck it up' and move on.
Such pointless bullshit really.
FUCK YOU. JUST, FUCK YOU.
Is it that hard to respond to an email, no wait, TWO emails, in which I ask to let me know whether y'all are coming or not? I spent fucking 200 euros on groceries, and booze and what not because I'd expected quite a few people to come over. But no. Why go to Est's party?
You've let me down.
And YOU. I'm not even starting about you. Fucking ****. You have no clue how angry you've made me.
But 'suck it up' and move on.
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