Rough Night

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Butterfly, Apr 1, 2011.

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  1. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    It really made me look at things in perspective. How can I feel so low and want to die for almost no reason at all, when another has had their life taken too soon and too cruely from them? How can I sit there and watch the pain death causes others when all I want to do is die? How can I be so hypocritical and help others fight for their lives when I want to give up on mine?
     
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  2. LonerForever

    LonerForever Well-Known Member

    Hang in there hun :hugtackles::hugtackles:

    You are a good person. You help to give others hope and we're here to help give you hope as well. No matter the reason, nothing in the world is worth losing a life like yours. We all care for you and want to help.

    PM me if you want :)
     
  3. solutions

    solutions Well-Known Member

    Hypocritical as it is, it's commendable. I came to this forum with my own problems and at the same time tried to help others with theirs. The latter kept me around. It's rewarding, if I can be so bold as to say so. It's a good feeling. You're doing a good thing. Take some pride in your capacity to do it.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You feel how you feel because you have a chemical inbalance that is what depression is sometimes you don't need a reason even you are just sad. You are not being hypocritical you are surviving like the rest giving help when you can hugs to you
     
  5. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I just can't help but feel hypocritical. It's my job to treat people and and help them fight for their lives. I am enforcing this on other people. Obviously they are grateful as they are life threatening illnesses, but how can I do this when I want to give up?

    I am really struggling. I think my thoughts are starting to go beyond suicide because I am already dying inside.
     
  6. solutions

    solutions Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you're in so much pain. Just stay with us for now.

    If I may try to add some perspective, professionals often feel the same way. The rate of suicide for people whose careers revolve around therapy and psychiatry is higher than the general population. It also applies to medical doctors; males have a twice as high rate of suicide, female doctors have a three to five times higher rate of suicide. The pressure involved in those kinds of careers is extraordinary, and because they are the clinicians, they feel afraid of the stigma they would endure by asking another clinician for help, so they don't.

    Professionals aren't incapable of having suicidal thoughts themselves. They are by no means immune to the precipitating factors that cause suicide. Even though they're trained to help someone who is suffering from an illness like major depression, without an objective view, they may not even realize that they are suffering from the same symptoms of the people they're trying to treat. Wouldn't it make sense to say that they too are being hypocritical?

    It's not something to be ashamed for.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 1, 2011
  7. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I'm just finding it so hard to cope at the minute. Because my funding has stopped for university this year I have to get a part time job on the side. But because of the nature of my course I have to complete work placements and it is very tough going at the moment as I am working for days on end without having a day off. I need money to survive. I feel like I am going to be stuck like this and can't see a way out. I have 12 hour shifts at placement which consist of day and night shifts, and my flaming work keep giving me 14 hour shifts on top of this. I am beyond tired now. Because I can go for almost 2 weeks without a day off I cannot get in to see my doctor. I have run out of my meds and I really need to see my doctor because I am going crazy. I am frightened she will have a go at me for running out of tablets but I everytime I tried to make an appt she was booked up and I've been working long shifts on other days I can get an appt. I would take time out of work/placement to get an appoint but because I don't work near to where I live at work or placement and I don't drive I would be gone for hours. I jsut don't know what to do. I feel like I could do something at any moment. I'm stuck in this hole and I am just sinking lower and lower. I really don't know what to do :(
     
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