Rough, Rough Day

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Sleepwalk, Sep 13, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Sleepwalk

    Sleepwalk Well-Known Member

    I swear if I had a gun this would be my last day.

    I've actually researched methods and decided that's how it'll happen if it does. Least possibility of failure. But at the moment I don't have one so for now I'm still here................
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I'm really sorry you had a bad day. What happened?
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I knew someone who use gun and he is blind for life now so no it is not a good way NO way is a good way getting help talking to people working throught the pain is a good ways Keep talking here so we can help you.
     
  4. Sleepwalk

    Sleepwalk Well-Known Member

    Everything's just closing in on me today. I know the new job is going to be hell. I can already feel the cab closing in on me and I haven't even turned a wheel yet, first day is tomorrow but I'm still waiting for a dispatch. The impending isolation of life on the road is weighing heavy, as is the end of the relationship. I've even found myself thinking about the previous ex who I still believe is "the one who got away."

    I've had tears in my eyes most of the afternoon which is also pissing me off as I never used to cry, even though I've spent most of my life miserable and wishing I was dead. I've been phoning friends most of the afternoon and evening, not letting them in on the severity of my mood but just chatting and trying to shake the torture. The only positive today is I've been able to avoid the in bottle of Jack Daniels in the kitchen.
     
  5. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Crying is okay. I used to do whatever I could to keep myself from crying, and it took me a while to realize that sometimes we all just need to cry. It's a sort of release of emotion.

    I hope your first day goes okay.

    Did talking with your friends help distract you at all? Would you be able to tell them anything about how you feel?
     
  6. Sleepwalk

    Sleepwalk Well-Known Member

    Before a couple years ago I remember crying once in my life, when I had to have my dog put down. I hate crying. It makes me feel weak. I feel weak enough as it is.

    Talking with the friends was a bit of a distraction. I couldn't tell them what's going on.
     
  7. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I used to feel the same way about crying. I was taught from the time I was really little that crying was a sign of weakness. But it's not. It's just a normal way of showing emotion, and it doesn't make you weak. You're not a weak person; it takes strength and courage just to keep going, to keep fighting when you really feel down.
     
  8. Sleepwalk

    Sleepwalk Well-Known Member

    Sitting in a truck stop in Lansing, Michigan. Wishing I had died overnight while sleeping in the bunk. Was on the verge of breaking down while sitting in the restaurant eating breakfast. I'm mortified and so, so low.....
     
  9. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I'm sorry you're feeling so low. *hugs* I'm glad you made it through the night though. here if you feel like talking.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.