Rough times.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MidnightFog, Jul 11, 2011.

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  1. MidnightFog

    MidnightFog New Member

    It's 3:34am (by my phone's reckoning) and once again I'm lying in bed with nothing else to do but think. And, as I'm sure a lot of you know, thinking is a dangerous thing to overdo when you're depressed.

    A little background; I'm 20, diagnosed with depression and OCD about 4 years ago. The OCD has pretty much taken a backseat with the introduction of medication but the depression is near constant.

    I had to leave university half way though my first year because of it and, a few weeks later, lost my job.

    I used to be a pleasant, enthusiastic, intelligent, creative and generally normal person. My future was bright and my life was perfect.

    Now? Everything is tainted with an overwhelming feeling of sheer futility. I see very little point to getting out of bed in the morning and yet, at night, I'm terrified of getting into it because I know it's precursor to yet another day.

    I feel like I have missed what were supposed to be 'the best years of my life" and I feel I've been robbed of the chance of a decent future. Not to mention how bitter, twisted and empty I can feel myself becoming with each passing day.

    I fail to see the point in anything really. And I'm really not quite thrilled about having to live a life that's so hollow and torturous.

    I'm rambling as usual.

    What do I do?
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It is good to hear your ocd is under control now you have to work on getting that depression under control too okay. Try newer meds less side effects You CAN still have those aspirations those goals and dreams hun there are may professionals working with mental illness and so can you hun Talk to your doc okay get something to help alleviate the sadness.
     
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