Start having depressive episode. Recognise signs. Try to cheer myself up or distract myself. Episode gets worse. Frantically try to Google advice on how to deal with it. Find nothing. Thoughts turn to suicide. Starting getting 'magnetically' drawn to edge of buildings or traffic or knives. Start Googling ways to stop suicidal thoughts. Find nothing. Start visiting government health and NGO websites looking for someone to call for support, anything to stop the 'magnet' feeling. Find nothing Get unreasonably furious about the apparent lack of support. 'Magnetism' grows. Log on to SF and try and reach out to anyone. Gradually ride episode out. Repeat.