nothing ever gets easier for me, the struggle goes on and i feel further and further away from feeling ' normal ' ! there's just no joy in my life now, oh i can put on a fake smile, push out a laugh when its needed but it comes from a heart that just doesn't care anymore. it's too tough to get up, go to work and show my face but i do it purely because i have nothing and no one else, my life is as empty as me. where's the joy, the happiness and fun that i have known ? back to square one again and looking at a future of nothing, don't know if i have the courage to keep on trying, just so tired now, tired of life and the constant battle against who i am.