Hi. A lot of people have felt the way you are feeling on this forum.... hell I still feel like that all the time. I am just trying to get through it day by day and one of the things that has been helping me is talking on this forum.
I'm sorry crisis lines have let you down so far however
it isn't too late.
It is possible to resolve whatever mental crisis you are currently facing and
it is possible to get help with it. As a first step, do you want to talk about what you are facing that is making you feel this way? Whatever it is, there are people here to listen, and you will very likely find people in similar positions to help you through it.
Some of what has been said may seem like empty words since we don't know you (I know that's the way I initially felt when getting anonymous advice), however people on this forum truly care about YOU. We can get to know YOU and help YOU through YOUR problems.
There is hope, even if you don't feel like there is at the moment, and things can get better. Sending hugs
.