Running away and starting over - instead of suicide

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Aurora Gory Alice, Jul 6, 2009.

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  1. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I've been thinking about this for a long long time and I haven't heard it mentioned on this forum before.
    I know a lot of people feel as though they have no other options but to kill themselves, but has anybody out there ever thought about just leaving behind their old lives, moving away and starting a-new?

    I also feel like a lot of people on here have issues with feeling trapped, not just by their surroundings but their friends, families and spouses and also being consumed by the amount of loneliness they're experiencing.
    All of these things are true of me:

    My hometown brings me nothing but misery, it's where all the bad stuff has happened to me in the past and being here is just a constant reminder.

    The friends who wronged me are still around and I feel like I have to see them all the time, like there's no escape. How can I forget and move on if I can't escape them?

    The family members and friends who treat me like dirt know that they can always get a hold of me because they have all of my phone numbers and they know where I live.

    Surrounded by all of these bad people I feel lonelier than ever and I also just feel like people around here don't get me. Maybe if I was somewhere else, with new people... they might?

    I just want to get away. I want to leave. And I am going to make the steps towards doing so first thing in the morning.

    Escaping everyone and everything has got to be better than death, right?
  2. Mikeintx

    Mikeintx Well-Known Member

    In 07 after my od I moved 2k miles to north texas... it was the best thing I have ever done and my depression is almost all gone at this point. If you feel it will be beneficial I wish you luck :)
  3. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Mike that's fantastic, I'm glad to hear that moving helped you as much as it did and I definitely feel like it'd benefit me massively.
    A friend of mine moved across country last year and his mood just completely changed.
    He didn't cut family and friends off, but he did see them a hell of a lot less. He said just not being surrounded by all of that bad energy made a huge difference in his life, and I think that'd be the same of me - and many others! :)
  4. Mikeintx

    Mikeintx Well-Known Member

    Most definately... my dad had major issues and getting away from him helped a lot... also i moved here to be with my sis and mom who are great ppl and that helped immensely also, plus the sun and nice weather doesnt hurt ;)
  5. CPessimist

    CPessimist Well-Known Member

    heya, just for my worthless two cents (well I guess it is worth two cents),

    moving away isn't going to fix the underlying problems. If you're getting abused where you are now, for sure move away, but running from problems (boy do I know a lot about that) will never fix them. You said you were feeling lonely -- moving to a place you've never been if you aren't that confident socially isn't going to help you be less lonely (although maybe you can easily make new friends, I'm just supposing here).

    So... yea
  6. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I make temporary friendships quite often, because once people get to know the real me those relationships break down very quickly.

    My problems are embedded deep within me, and I am not sure there is a resolution.
    But what I do know is that 50% of my issues come from the place I am stuck in, so if I can bury half of them and only have the half to deal with that come from myself... surely it'd be better working on them in a happy atmosphere than one that is making me even more miserable?

    I know people always say whats the point in leaving, your issues will come with you.

    The way I see it is, it's the difference between a person with a drug problem sorting out their issues down a crack den or in rehab.
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    If you have the finacing If you have the courage to start over elsewhere then try it. Sometimes leaving a poison enviroment is the best for changing ones outlook on life. If this is done though one still needs to stay in treatment to continue to get the help with the coping skills they lack so in this new place they can function well and not stay in the same place they left.
    Always important to maintain connection with someone you trust no matter where you are so you have some grounding someone to turn to when life struggles in your new place gets rough.
    If you feel you have the courage the maturity the financing to move then maybe it just might help to change into a different environment making sure you continue therapy whereever you end up.
  8. Brighid Moon

    Brighid Moon Member & Antiquities Friend

    I ran away and ran away and ran away from running away. It may get you out of a temporary circumstance, but you can't run away from yourself, and you can lose everything in the process. I seriously only suggest doing this if you're really desperate, and if you do, figure it out well before hand. Make plans. But don't expect it to cure everything. A good out to get away from abusers! Sometimes you can maybe find a better job or something elsewhere, especially if you're in a small town or something, where there's limited options. Just don't end up on the street - from experience, this only makes things worse in the short and long runs.
  9. killtomorrow

    killtomorrow Well-Known Member

    Thats all i think about...moneys an issue though
  10. reefer madness

    reefer madness Account Closed

    I was gonna post this word for word.
  11. max0718

    max0718 Well-Known Member

    Hey D&D,

    I agree with what most (including you) said on here. It can be very therapeutic to start out fresh in a new environment, and if you are living in a poisonous environment atm, then moving will certainly be good in that sense. But quite often our depression makes us underestimate what we really do have already, and there is always that chance that things might not turn out that great in the new place.

    I'm not saying you shouldn't do it, though. I just think that you should think long and hard before making such a big decision. You shouldn't expect it to be a cure-all solution, but as you said it may help you move on from things in the past. Just make sure you cover all your bases.

    Best of luck and keep us posted on what you intend to do(Always like to hear about people's new adventures)!

  12. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Just wanted to FYI to everybody that was thinking I wanted to leave without any means of getting by - nooo no absolutely not and I wouldn't suggest that to anybody else either!

    If you are going to get out and start over it has to be with a job and an apartment lined up and a way of getting by.

    I am running away from a bad atmosphere and people who don't care about me.
    I have nothing to stay for and I get the impression I am not alone when I say that on here.
    So many people talk about being lonely and having nobody. Starting over could be exactly what you need.
    At the same time I'm not naive enough to think this will fix all of my problems.
    In the same way I read from a lot of people that they feel if someone would just love them, if they could find friends or a boyfriend/girlfriend all of their problems would be solved - it's just not that easy. I know too many people who are in relationships and are still depressed.
  13. max0718

    max0718 Well-Known Member

    Hey DD,

    Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith and hope for the best, and if that is what you need to do - then I wish you the best of luck! It can be kind of exciting to get on the road and not know where you will end up at the end of the day. I am sooo jealous all of a sudden. :rolleyes:

    I really hope it works out for you!

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