So i probably should have posted something on the forums sooner, but i guess now is better then never. I am 16 years old. and I've been depressed since i was 6 years old. it wasn't so bad at the time but eventually it got worse, by the time I was 10 it became horrible it's when I got to the "depressed haze state" . I was so depressed and i just didn't care what happened to me. I always had this little hope of maybe one day things will get better, but really they just got much MUCH worse. It got so bad I started going mentally insane, around 15, but I was still able to act pretty convincingly casual about things as much as it killed me inside. now I just can't stand it any longer. I'm running away from home 12:00 AM Thursday. I figure things won't change by staying here they will only get worse, as they always have. all I remember about my life at school is being yelled at by teachers and being made fun of by students, even now that kinda applies. now I have horrible grades because I just don't care. so i know I'll never full fill any of my dreams. if i can even get a job in the first place. and a childhood friend who barely knows me anymore... I knew them since I was really young and was the only reason my life was worth living for so long. they where the only person who treated me nicely and accepted me for who I was when it felt like the world was against me... and even though I have friends now, It feels like there just so artificial. It's a really depressing because they barely see me as a friend, and and i feel like I know her more then that... I feel like i might even love her. even though we both agreed that we didn't love each other at one time, we both thought it would be weird but... things changed... I also can't stand the type of person I turned into, It's the type of person I hate. I honestly don't care about getting a job at all, living a life past high school, or really even living threw the next few days... I feel cocky about writing this but it's better then not saying something at all can someone save me please! I'm sorry if you got to this to late.