This sounds really dumb, but hear me out. I am suicidal, I am depressed. Recently I took a few too many sedatives, & long story short, asked my professor (with whom I've been talking with prior to this), to report me to the college counsellor. Now I didn't know I had done this till someone with whom I'm friends with & works at the college, told me that I had done this (in my medicated haze). Soooo 1.5 days later (yesterday) when I "sobered" up, & it kicked in, I began to panic. I had let my guard down. I know nothing good is going to come out of this & I'm considering just taking off. I just need to disappear for a few days to clear my head, even if it means going out into wilderness. I have thought about this previously & espcially now with things at home getting so tense & horrible. School is a mess & I feel a million miles away from reality. I just need everybody out of my hair right now. My only fear is being found. I don't know if they can track me down via my blackberry (mobile phone)? I had treatment in the past & it was one of the WORST experiences of my life & I never want to go thru it again. It ruined me. But if I let them get me now, I'm done, my life mine aswell be over.