Running away

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by PandorasToybox, Nov 22, 2009.

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  1. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    This sounds really dumb, but hear me out. I am suicidal, I am depressed.
    Recently I took a few too many sedatives, & long story short, asked my professor (with whom I've been talking with prior to this), to report me to the college counsellor.
    Now I didn't know I had done this till someone with whom I'm friends with & works at the college, told me that I had done this (in my medicated haze). Soooo 1.5 days later (yesterday) when I "sobered" up, & it kicked in, I began to panic. I had let my guard down.
    I know nothing good is going to come out of this & I'm considering just taking off. I just need to disappear for a few days to clear my head, even if it means going out into wilderness.
    I have thought about this previously & espcially now with things at home getting so tense & horrible. School is a mess & I feel a million miles away from reality. I just need everybody out of my hair right now.
    My only fear is being found. I don't know if they can track me down via my blackberry (mobile phone)?
    I had treatment in the past & it was one of the WORST experiences of my life & I never want to go thru it again. It ruined me. But if I let them get me now, I'm done, my life mine aswell be over.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    When one is unguarded there is a panic that comes with it unless you live your life this way...I felt so much shame one time, I want to _______(I will edit myself, lol). That intense pain does goes away; give it time and take good care of yourself...J
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You reached out for help no one will harm you You will get support to heal you. Don't be afraid explain what happened and how you are feeling now. It is facing you problems not running from them. This in itself will show them your stability. take care.
  4. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    It's hard to keep hearing that things will get better. I have been promised that so many times & years later it still hasn't. I know this time they're going to lock me away in a facility that isnt equipped to handle people like me.
    I can't stand waking up everyday to this life. I just need space. I can never get time to just think things thru.
  5. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    If you're 18 (yrs old) they can't report you can they??
  6. kurenai

    kurenai Well-Known Member

    Maybe you can stay at a friend's place, or rent a room at a hotel or something. And also wander in the woods, but only in the daytime. If you're 18, you're considered an adult so they can't do anything to you.
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