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Running out of steam (newbie )

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Bo hermit, Apr 15, 2014.

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  1. Bo hermit

    Bo hermit New Member

    My story is not very compelling or interesting so I will skip it here. I have a time limit on me. I have "called for help" but, honestly, what can they do but call me back to make sure I am still around? I am tired of constant worry. Tired of people who say they love me and do things no enemy would ever do to me. If all there is is fear, betrayal, loneliness, and being homeless then what is the point?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am sorry these people harm you Here no one will do that we will listen and care and support you ok You can ask you doctor to set up supports for you in the community or go to hospital for a stay until your depression lessens some Just know we will care ok hugs
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I hope you'll reconsider and post your story; if you do, we'll listen.
  4. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry it's hard right now. Perhaps ask them for more physical support? to do something together every week, that could help no?

    Like wildcherry says you can tell your story here, we listen and offer support...some of us have similar background too :hug:
  5. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    So sorry to hear that you are suffering. Please do not think your are alone. You will a lot of support here. The important thing you have posted here first. Depression is a hard battle to deal with by yourself. Many people can suffer in many ways but just deal wit it one day at a time. We are all here to help and support each other. Please keep posting and a lot of people here will help you. You are not alone, please do not be afraid of posting here. Please take care.
  6. Bo hermit

    Bo hermit New Member

    I have not reconsidered anything. All day long I was thinking of place and a method. Suicide hot line even called me as I was walking to work and I had to admit that no, I was not "feeling better". I work in a hardware store and when it would slow down I would look at possible methods. Like I told the woman on the phone this is not a temporary bout of depression. I can live and function with that. This is just my life being funneled into this one option as all others fall away. They mean well, but so far I have not been given a good reason to stick around.
  7. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You are not alone. I find that speaking to support lines does help. Everyday when you hit bottom low, you need to focus on something positive just to get you through the day. I know it's hard but a simple positive thought keeps me going. I understand this may be difficult but you need to focus. Your life is not pointless but every important to me. Even though I don't know you but keep posting here your thoughts. Like I said before we are all here to support each other through the hard times. Please take care.
  8. Bo hermit

    Bo hermit New Member

    A year ago this month I was "saved" by a childhood friend. I was working non stop but I ended up homeless. I was staying in a hotel with a couple with a baby that I had met at the seasonal homeless shelter. My cat ( which is all I have left of my mom but she rejected him so I care for him ) was stuck in a cage at a vet's office across from where I worked. There was no more money to keep him there so I contacted my friend on Face book. She saved my cat and a few weeks later she got me a apartment in the house she was living in with her husband. She promised she would always be a straight shooter with me and would be my sister. All was good until someone offered her a historic home in that same small town I escaped from. She asked me to come with them. I was worried but in September we moved. Flash forward a year. Her husband takes my job as a janitor at the church we both worked at ( he left a higher paying job for mine ) and the same night the church told me I was being replaced my "sister" got mad at me for getting mad with the oh so wonderful people at the church and told me I have until May 1st to find a new place. She still is not talking to me. I did not yell, I did not curse, I did not threaten, I got my stuff and left after being told I did not "interview well" for my job cleaning toilets so if I was rude that was the best I could do at the time. So once again I will be homeless just days after my 44th birthday this month. Tonight I was "home" and noticed they still were not home from church because the dogs were barking their heads off. By midnight I was finally worried enough to start texting them to see if they were ok and what should I do with the dogs and the huge bird. After an hour she finally got off her high horse to tell me they were staying the night at church to care for the homeless and the dogs were fine. REALLY? After a year of helping out every way I could, paying rent on time and offering to pay more, keeping a clean place, never causing any problems I am forced to be homeless again and THEY are playing good churchy people by helping at a shelter?!?! I am the crazy one here or is this really as f-ed up as I think it is?
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