Here it comes, the arch nemesis, friend and foe alike...my depression making an unwelcome return. I feel totally uninspired right now. Year zero. I don't know what I want, where I want it, who I want to be, what I should be doing. I can't be faaaaaaarked lifting a finger to scratch my own arse. How did this happen? Wrote a short email today to someone. Mentioned suicide. Not intending to do it mind you, but the mere mention of it as an option has helped bring this on. I cant seem to move forward anymore. Think it was all a lie, a mirage. Convinced myself of a certain future, but didnt really think it through. The "how to get there" part. Now im overwhelmed, brain dead. Wanna see the results, but not put the effort in. That's not how it works. I should know that by now. Can't keep doing this. Has to be a way out.