Hi
I am unsure if its just me but I often feel like just disappearing. Even if it's just for a short time as some breathing space.
The problem is, that this behaviour of mine has been identified and flagged to the mental health team as pre suicidal attempt behaviour.
Part of me tells me that I should be free to go places as I wish but lockdown restrictions would say otherwise.
We are not meant to travel outside our local area without good reason but I just need to get away.
I don't know where I want to go and certainly do not want to be stopped and fined by the police for breaking the rules which are now law enforceable.
These desires to run can come and go with distractions being most helpful in me staying at home.
However this time seems different, I have a few difficult days approaching ie valentines day and a wedding anniversary which are hard to get through. I should just let them pass by but it's not that simple or easy.
I feel so heaverly monitored, not particularly by professionals but friends and family too and know this action could cause a wave of concern giving my psychiatrist good reason and back up his opinion that I should restart meds when I don't want to.
I know this is irrational and not practical but I still want to go but not be reported as a high risk vulnerable missing person. I don't want to be sectioned again.
My life seems so complicated and my mind so overwhelmed by worries and things beyond my control. I just want a break.
Xx
I am unsure if its just me but I often feel like just disappearing. Even if it's just for a short time as some breathing space.
The problem is, that this behaviour of mine has been identified and flagged to the mental health team as pre suicidal attempt behaviour.
Part of me tells me that I should be free to go places as I wish but lockdown restrictions would say otherwise.
We are not meant to travel outside our local area without good reason but I just need to get away.
I don't know where I want to go and certainly do not want to be stopped and fined by the police for breaking the rules which are now law enforceable.
These desires to run can come and go with distractions being most helpful in me staying at home.
However this time seems different, I have a few difficult days approaching ie valentines day and a wedding anniversary which are hard to get through. I should just let them pass by but it's not that simple or easy.
I feel so heaverly monitored, not particularly by professionals but friends and family too and know this action could cause a wave of concern giving my psychiatrist good reason and back up his opinion that I should restart meds when I don't want to.
I know this is irrational and not practical but I still want to go but not be reported as a high risk vulnerable missing person. I don't want to be sectioned again.
My life seems so complicated and my mind so overwhelmed by worries and things beyond my control. I just want a break.
Xx