I am so burned out on everything. I wish I would just not wake up. I've prayed that I would die in my sleep until I just feel like i'm talking to myself. I probably won't kill myself or anything. I'm too much of a chicken. Although i did halfway try once. I drank a bunch of beer and took some sleeping pills. lame I guess. I hallucinated and saw bugs, my voice got messed up and I was pretty whacked out, but I was okay in the morning. So dumb, but I'm certainly not going to jump off of a building! I guess I'm always on the verge of feeling down. I am happy sometimes but it's like it's not real because another disappointment just puts me right back where i started in a terrible funk- hating life. And it's frustrating as heck to want to die but being afraid to take your own life. I feel trapped. I don't want attention. I just want to disappear. I don't want to take drugs to feel better. I guess talking to someone might help. i'm alone way too much. I do have a wonderful husband who loves me so I'm thankful for that, but he is the only friend I have and I feel guilty for putting that pressure on him. I never go out with girlfriends, i work alone. I'm bored and incredibly disappointed with the world. I know that my problems are small compared to some so please don't be mean if you respond. i'm not trying to act like I have the biggest problems in the world, I could just use a little support right now. I hate my life and I want to run away. Thanks for listening. I've calmed down quite a bit just typing this so you've helped already. Thank you.