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  1. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    I am going to loose my job in approx 1 month from now.

    Because even though I publically declared my independence from my parents, I forgot that there is one thing I have to do with them.

    My mom is having hip replacement surgery in like a month. She thinks she will be home in 2 days.

    The plan is, while she in the hospital, her sister, my aunt will dogsit and babysit my dad. And I would cover the nights.

    If it is for 2 days over the weekend, I can do that. Which my mom thinks it will. mother in law just had a surgery done on her knee last Tuesday and she is still not home.

    She is currently in a nursing home getting rehab.

    And that was just a knee.

    My mom is going to need care, prolly round the clock or at least daily for weeks to come after that.

    The only one who can do it, is me.

    That means, I will miss work. That means, I will loose my job.

    So tell me why I am not suicidal?
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Bill you have every right to your feelings. But dont let the negative cloud your thinking. Commit to the 2 nights. You just said that others are going to be available to do other shifts. Then they will have to do a few more. You offer the 2, stick to it and walk away to deal with your priorities and life. Why should the others be able to do just that and not you? Might be one of the hardest things you are going to have to do. But at the end of the day it will also prove to the others that you are serious. That you have other matters in your life to deal with besides mom and dad. Dont feel guilty or like you owe more than the 2 nights. And dont give a stink to what others may say or think about you for doing it. You have a life hun just like them. I'm sure that when push comes to shove the others wont let your dad or the dog be alone. There is still time before the surgery. Look into inhome aid. There are a lot that are government run so you can get reasonable rates if not free if you are financially strapped. Get everyone to ante up and cover the expense. Hun think of it as a terrific investment for a little piece of mind.
  3. The_Discarded

    The_Discarded Staff Alumni

    Are you not? Good. Running to "OMG I want to kill myself" every time something gets a little heavy is the least mature (and most selfish, really) way of handling things. Or, in fact, it's not even handling things at all. It's running from them. Like when you're about 14 and you've failed a Trig test or something and you try to hide it and don't want to show up class and stuff, instead of, as you should, stepping it up a bit. Getting some tutoring. Doing better on the next test. Know what happens then? You fail the next test too. No good.

    If I'm reading correctly, and you're saying you're not suicidal, maybe it's because you're thinking logically? Maybe it's because you realize that running to suicidality is piling more problems on already existent ones. You've got issues here. Legitimate problems. And handling them in practical ways is the smart way to go about it. Otherwise, you'll wallow a bit and then it'll be harder to get out of bed again and it'll only make taking care of your current problems more difficult. Wrong way to go about it.

    For now, do what you have to do, and then, figure out your options. I don't know your situation too well, so I'm not going to pretend like I have any answers or know anything about you. But look, your mother is going to need tending to as her hip heals, yeah? Will she really need 'round the clock attention? Is there really no one else who understands that you've got your stuff to deal with too, apart from just tending to your parents? Maybe your aunt can still help out a little? Can you search, desperately, for a new a job ahead of time? Is your job really so demanding? Can you talk to your boss, move your schedule around a bit? Money's probably tight, but maybe (I don't know, just maybe) you can find someone (craigslist or something?), hire someone (who's willing to work for a somewhat minimal amount - hell, the way things are, most people will work anything for anything) to take care of your mother for 8 hours a day or so for the next couple weeks (as you work, or for however long you work), and then the 16 hours left in the day can be up to you? I don't know. Just figure your options, don't fall into wanting to die, that's adding problems to problems.

    Think objectively, work hard, be practical. Options, options, options. Look for them. You don't have any time to do anything else. You don't have any time to be suicidal. Not right now. Deal with what's looming over the horizon, the big, tangible things. (And try to get enough sleep while everything's rushing around you, eh? That's pretty essential.)

    In the meantime, good luck. I'm sorry things are as rough as they are, I'm sorry there are no magic fix-its, but as I'm sure you know, wanting to kill yourself sure as hell isn't one.

    :hug: You're clearly stronger than you give yourself credit for. Best wishes. I hope you, and your mom, and your job, and everything else of yours will be ok.

    Oh and if it's any consolation, any at all, you aren't unheard.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 17, 2009
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