Sabatoging yourself

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Forgotten_Man, Aug 29, 2006.

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  1. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I felt that this was the best place to put this thread.

    So when I think back on my life, I see that I have always been a self-abuser. But not in the physical aspect of it. I would sabatoge myself that is what I would do. For example, One semester i came home with a 2.7 GPA and my mom scoulded me for it. I told her it could be MUCH MUCH worse. And I also felt the need to prove it. So the next semster I came home with a 1.9 GPA. Just to show her.

    I have always been into making statements and proving them. I love NOTHING more than a person to tell me I cannot do something then I go and do it... no matter how bad it is for me.

    I don't know
    I was just wondering how I stop doing this or if anyone else has done it?
  2. Convergence

    Convergence Guest

    that's amazingly similar to myself. I always did that as well, though now I'm a bit older I don't anymore. I gave up trying, I don't think imprerssing people is quite worth it. It might not be the goal you're after, but it's that drive that allows us to do this.

    I'm sorry I don't have much to say, but I do have to agree with you.
  3. cthulhu

    cthulhu Well-Known Member

    well all i can say in respose is i bet you cant not abuse your self...

    (yes this is intended to make you laugh, laughter heals many wounds...even self inflicted ones.....i f i hath ofended think me but a dream an thuse all is mended)
  4. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Ha ha... indeed... I am older too... I have stopped trying to impress people... well for the most part.... I hate hearing "You are too young to decide this or that". That is where I sabatoge me now..

    Ahhh double negatives... I laughed a little but I think you opened the wound further.
  5. Convergence

    Convergence Guest

    I used to hate that when I was younger. Then you couldn't eve have a decent conversation without some sort of judgment. I believe it was pain and struggle forces you to mature mentally faster, isn't it?
  6. BlackPegasus

    BlackPegasus Well-Known Member

    I admit I've never been good at dealing with those who judge like that. I've actually found they are the one's with the most insecurity issues. The wisest people I've ever met they were the most gentle and accepting and least judgemental and they always asked for and respected my opinion, offers of help, or just plain listened to me without in some way saying something that belittles me. My paternal grandma was a lot like that.

    As far as proving things to someone I was never big on that. Usually if I was put down or belittled I was more likely to just shut that person out and avoid them than anything else. It hurt like hell ofcourse and at times i proved them wrong without trying to do so but I just didn't want anything to do with such people. I've never responded to yelling and criticism like some do. I guess I am weird that way. I just like things to be calm.

  7. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Indeed, I was forced to mature at a very young age..... I mean back when I was 12 I had the social naiveity of a 7 or 8 year old. And I was focred, by my dad, to become as socially mature as a 16 or 17 year old at the age of 12.... it sucked... and from there I kind of stopped... I am such a lame person

    Ha indeed the wisest people I know do not judge me hardly at all. But they are 1 in 5,000,000,000 no... it really sucks... and the people who tried to come off as non-judgemental always refered to my age.

    I don't know about your past, but I did have attention issues back when I was a kid. My mom was focused on the ones, my sisters, who were athletic and acidemically successful... I was just there. So I guess I always want to be seen as accomplishing something I don't know... just excuses so that I can justify to myself why I do this to me.
  8. dark_thought

    dark_thought Guest

    The judgement doesn't stop when you're older. The difference is people talk about you behind you back. I've seen it sooooooo many times in the work environment. When that unpopular-person is in the office, everyone is as nice as pie. But as soon as she leaves, the knives come out.
  9. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Ha I do not doubt it I am sure it is that way with me... I know it is... when people see me walk by the door and you hear an "OH SHIT"
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