Hi my name is lu I am 31 and have suffered from depression and anxiety since I was 13. I have had cbt therapy abd meds. I currently takje 40 mg of citalopram daily had this dose for 2 years. Recently my depression has worsened. I want to sleep constantly im at risk if losing my job because I keep going off sick. I was recently ill with a bad kidney infection and since my mood is low all the time. I live at home abd I just wabt to hide away and sleep. I am thinking increasingly suicidal thoughts. I feel alone totally in my thoughts. I have an addiction to painkillers to get me through the day. I feel lost confused and guilty. I literally fake a smile ever yday yet I feel like I am dying inside.