Sad and unmotivated

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by underwhelmed, Mar 13, 2016.

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  1. underwhelmed

    underwhelmed New Member

    To be honest, being sad and unmotivated is actually preventing me from actually thinking about committing suicide. Because the sadness means that somewhere, deep down, I do still care, and I'm so unmotivated to do anything that I can't possibly imagine actually committing suicide. So that's doing something.

    I've been depressed a long time. But I actually got much better, and was thriving. Then I got into a relationship with someone who I love very much but is very very damaged. I had to help him through some very terrible depression and unfortunately it hooked me back into the depression cycle. Then when I reached for him to help me, he acted like I was being unreasonable.

    We're separated now. And that makes me sad. But I'm also angry at him for not supporting me when I need help, after I helped him and supported him (to my own detriment) for years. But those are kind of just - problems related to my relationship.

    My real emotion problems are just - that I don't want this life any more. I'm so tired of feeling tired. I'm so bored of being bored. Nothing entertains me any more, my business just frustrates me, and I have no goals to work for or look forward to. I'm in college, but for what? I have no idea what I want to do with my life. And my depression is starting to affect my grades. I've been a straight A student for three straight semesters but I've been putting off my assignments and missing quizzes and homework and just...not caring. It's frustrating. But I just don't care any more. I don't listen to music, I don't feel like I have any hobbies, I have no friends now that I've broken up with my boyfriend, and my parents are busy living their lives. They know I'm depressed and they know it's serious but I haven't told them I'm legit suicidal. I get out regularly. I exercise (technically.) I interact with people for my job. But it's all just real exhausting. Surviving is exhausting. Living is exhausting. I'm so tired.
  2. AdamTide

    AdamTide Well-Known Member

    First I want to tell you that everything is going to be ok. It may not seem like it now but it will be. As far as being motivated and being bored with life, helping others can have a HUGE positive impact on your life. You could volunteer at a local charity or donate to your local food closet. Helping others also helps YOU. It helps you feel useful and it shows what good you are getting out of your life. Find something you enjoy and concentrate on it. It can be music or comedy or writing or books or just whatever. Find something GOOD in each day. We care about you here. You are NOT alone. As far as the person you were with, I'm sorry they didn't appreciate you. That doesn't mean that others wont. Them doing you like that does NOT mean anything bad or negative about you. I for one won't do you like that. I won't turn my back on you. You matter. There are a lot of caring people on here. Like Shawn Mullins sings "everything's gonna be alright " :) PM me if you ever need anything. hug
    sahel likes this.
  3. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    @underwhelmed I'm sorry to hear how you're struggling.

    Are you getting any help with the depression? Have you talked to a counselor or therapist, are you on medication?
    If not perhaps you should try to talk to a counselor at your school? It sounds like you could really benefit from it.

    I'm sorry about your partner as well, you were an amazing person for supporting him and I'm sorry he wasn't capable of returning it when you needed it. I think, as hard as it is to admit that you're better off without them. You deserve someone who truly care for you and are willing to be there.

    You're already doing a lot of good things to get better, getting out and talking to people at your job! You should try to do more things for yourself. pampering sessions can be good.
    Maybe you should try to get a hobby, trying out some things? The truth is that doing things you like actually give you more energy once you get yourself started.

    Be kind to yourself hun.

    My inbox is always open if you want a chat!
    AdamTide likes this.
  4. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Wow. You sound like you have lived my life... Your story is very very similar to mine. It hurts, you're there for them but they can't for you....

    You're also in the same state of mind. People always ask me "what hobbies do you have?" "what would you like to do?" "what do you like?" but I have no replies. Nothing because I don't know... I don't feel anything for anything anymore.

    The only thing i know i want is my old relationship when it was good. Thats all i can imagine.

    I know I'm not much help here... I just wanted to let you know that people feel the same.
  5. AdamTide

    AdamTide Well-Known Member

    Shaggy sings "who's gonna have your back when it's all done " And just because that person didn't have your back doesn't mean the next person wont. Either way we (and I) here have your back ! :) You can always talk to us and we'll do our best to help you. Focus on the good things in life. Whether it's music or animals or comedy or just whatever. Things WILL get better and you're going to be just fine. hug
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