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Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by wheresmysheep, May 3, 2011.

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  1. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    I need to tlak, but i cant conheriantly put anything together.
    my thoughts are all over the place.

    help me
    fix me
  2. the_only_one

    the_only_one Well-Known Member

    we can figure it out:) just say exactly what you are can also PM me anytime
  3. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    :hug: s for mah sheepy.

    Just tell us what's going on sheep? We have a willing ear ready to hear!
  4. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    bad aday

  5. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    abusive sexual calls of someone i know
    cant call cops
    people are sceptical cause hes a 'nice, calm, good' guy
    has expressed a quite violent side to me. expressed a rape fantasy to me.
    I'm now the focal point of all of this unwanted attention as it were.
    I am scared
    i dont want to become a prisoner in a room again
    i dont want to go back 20million steps again
    I dont want to loose the work ive put in in tattooing as he is friends with the tattooist alos
    i cant explain the feeling
    dissapointment in myself
    fear on waht
    i cant do anytyhgine]g[wueriqebgr i[qehbgr ih[qebgqerg
    nkjfoieubgr;ouqebngiben rwg
    rthn aq#herp
  6. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    Why do people not take things like this seriously?!?!

    You are better than him! Show him that he is a loser that doesn't deserve to even be on the same planet as you.

    What a sick person.
  7. Julia-C

    Julia-C Well-Known Member

    My suggestion is to first avoid being alone with him

    If you have to be alone, leave yourself a way out. A direction to run.

    Provide a means of defense.

    use a pocket digital voice recorder to record his personality the way it is behind closed doors.

    Call the police.

    Without knowing more I can't make better suggestions.
  8. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    I've kinda gone back into 'protection' mode again, so can talk a bit clearer.
    I havent seen this person since before christmas, I was "dating" him, i use "" cause i just dont want to say i was seeing him, becuase of affore mentioned things. I left when things were just too much, sexual things/acts he was trying to get me to do. he followed me through a shoping centre when i was doing my christmas shoping, and that, i figured today, freaked me out so much cause its what the guy in greece who raped me did the first day we were in athens. he followed me and my brother back form a toy shop to teh pub where my mum was, so it echoed that, then his rape fantasy, he kept trying to get me to leave a spare ste of clothes in his home, and he said one day cause my clothes wouldnt be fit for wearing home at some point..
    and now these calls since i cut contact with him.
    Hes also a mutual friend of a few friends.
    And when i say hes a 'nice guy' he genuinely seems like he wouldnt hurt a fly, so i dont blmae people for being a bit taken back by me saying these things are happening, but it leaves me very open to attack form him. so you see my problem.
    I'm changing my number tomorrow now becasue of this. I'm considering getting mace, even though its illegal here. i'm not being raped and abused again.
  9. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    Why would mace be illegal? It's for protective use.
  10. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    I also, almost cut 30mins or so ago, have raised marks. i havent cut in 2years now.
    I also feel very; end this life, mood.
    like this one person can bring down all the progress i have made. he can bring down my career progressing. his actions can cause me to become scared and housebound again.
    I petrified
  11. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    Its illegal here. dont ask me why. countrys stupid
    I think it may be somethign to do with the IRA or some shit.

    also, he is gratified of being unworthy, this creeped me out also. had a thing for being at me feet ans stuff, he only spoke about it, and it just freak me the fuck out.
    If i retaliate against him in any way, it will play into his mind games.
    I was told to message a month or so ago and just be friendly. but he plays with himself just reading messages from me - he told me this. they dont have to be sexual, they just have to be addressed to him.
    shouting - gets him off also
    abuse(verbal) gets him off too.
    physical threats/beatings get him off too.

    anything to let him know i am upset by this will cause gratification. and could make it escalate.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 3, 2011
  12. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    I'm sorry sheepy. :hug: I'm sorry that you have to endure this.
  13. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    I am just creeped out terified and petrified
  14. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    :hug: I would defend myself at all costs. Even if I had to use the mace on him. I suggest ou keep it on your person at all times. It's the only way you'll stay safe.

    The legal issue of having the mace can be dealt with later, after you've had to use it on him, if it comes to that.

    I'm worried about how you are handling this right now. Cutting is a bad way of handling it. I wish I could suggest a better way to handle what you are going through tho.

  15. tweetypie

    tweetypie Antiquities Friend

    i think from an outsiders point of view this man has chosen you because of your vunerability.It also sounds like he has done to an extent some very "clever" conditioning of you. He has instilled fear of himself by almost recreating some part of your rape ordeal (the following you that freaked you out)
    convincing you that any reaction on your part will sexually gratify him ( texts and shouting objections etc) and that he has 2 different personas one he has around others and one that he showed to you. I dont know if anyone else thinks this from what you wrote but it seems glaringly obvious that what he has done is condition you. I would make it clear if you feel comfortable enough to do so that you no longer wish this man to contact you like you said change your number etc make sure you have a means to protect yourself and tell someone you can trust. Dont let this person victimise you. If there s anything i can do please let me know
    stay safe and hugs for u !!!
  16. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    Oh, shit. What the hell. What a fucked up situation, I'm so sorry it's happening to you. Please don't be disappointed in yourself. You're understandably scared, anyone would be, and added to that what happened to you before. Your safety is paramount right now, so do anything you can to keep yourself safe. You'll be okay, let me know how you are.
  17. icequeen

    icequeen Well-Known Member

    how awful for you. i agree in that he is moulding you to react so that he gets off...he is obviously a sick individual to put you through this and i suggest you keep copies of all msgs from him and record any conversations as back up. i would take every effort to protect yourself if you feel so threatened, but dont let him make you a prisoner...that will only encourage him. good that you change your phone number..that will help. try not to rise to his bait...

    take care and keep us posted :hug:
  18. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    I can understand where your coming from in what ive said and all that. But this guy (i dont like saying man, its like giving him more power) cant think that far. hes actually a guy i was 'seeing' for a while, it was a result from a drink/drug fueled night (on my behalf) I also knew him for a few years previous to the night in question. He doesnt knwo how to manipulate people, he never had friends in his life. he was a complete loner up untill 2years ago. and now he craves for everyone to accept him.
    He never told me that those things lead to his gratification, i seek human intricicities to see how they behave what makes them tick. and i know these things through things that were done/been said/ mentioned in passing. and no, he wouldnt have done this to scare me. this guy was plannign our fuicking wedding after 'seeing' me for 7weeks. no word of a joke, he was going to purpose on new years eve, but i parted ways on the 23rd dec.
  19. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    I dont actually talk to him, laqst tiome i spoke directly to him was 23rd dec. then one text on the 4th of january. tahst it.
  20. texaskitty

    texaskitty SF Cat Lady Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Emma :hug: sorry I missed what you said in chat. MSN me if you want to talk.
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