• Apologies for the issue with a bizarre redirect on the site earlier today. There was a large server update and an error in an IP address had the traffic routing wrongly. No hacking or anything nefarious and nothing to worry about. Sorry for any stress/anxiety caused. Very best wishes - SF Admin

Sad for Ex Boyfriend


Well-Known Member
This past week with car issues and general mayhem with my health, I saw my ex bf. We saw each other twice and at his place worked remotely (he for his job and me for mine) AND watched tv. I don’t have a tv, so it was something new.

But I felt bad for him as I sat there for 2 days. Roughly 4-5 hours each day. I saw a man who hadn’t gotten past his abusive childhood. Someone who is clinging to other people’s lives and children because he was unable to create one of his own. His level of normalcy is so skewed that he doens’t see the chaos right infront of him. His home is a disaster and borderline hoarding. The outside of his home is enough to make any neighbor loathe him (overgrown trees, branches down and not disgarded, grass not cut).

At some point, when does a person get into therapy and on medication to see what they’ve become and how to make it better. I’m positive he knows that nothing will happen between us. I’ve never re-dated an ex. But I told him that when he does start dating another woman, to find someone who isn’t like him. He needs someone ”at Peace” or on that path.

We didn’t date long because he wouldn’t see the wrong in his choices and I eventually decided, I wasn’t in a position to help another person. I needed to deal with me.

Not sure if he’ll wake up or continue the way he is. Find a woman that validates his life (hasn’t worked yet). Or die early due to his multiple health problems (which I’m sure are not helped by his continued food choices).

Its all so very sad. When I look at him, I understand how parents feel when they get older and just want to see their children settled and happy. Neither of which he’s been able to acquire.


Well-Known Member
Sorry that things have been so bad for him.

It sounds like you've talked to him about this. Did he have a response?
Yes and he just made a face and said no. And thats where I left it. I don’t think its my job to brow beat him or convince him. He is a “very” grown man, according to all things associated with him.

With more than half his life gone, there isn’t much left.

Think its important that everyone realize just because someone has all these fancy degrees, a house, a 6 figure job and more; does not make them normal or happy. They can, in some instances, be worse off mentally/emotionally than a person with none of the above.

But he “looks good” to the outside world.

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount