Not sure if this will be posted by the message about newbies having to wait for approval, it goes through good, if not.... Age:46 G: Male Lives: NY Married: Never Work: None at the present time Not sure what brought me here, to be honest think I'm truly far beyond any kind of help and I take the blame for that 100%. Been out of work for nearly two years as I quit by job of 14 years back in August 2010 and haven't really looked for anything that hard, just some half hearted attempts. Before I quit was on a long downward spiral in my life, had been in and out of therapy for 6 years and took so many kinds of medication but nothing really was effective, no matter how hard I tried to get better and I really did work at it but my life just kept getting so much worse as far as my depression, anxieties, ocd's and other problems went. So been sitting at home for 2 years watching my life just fade away to nothing and haven't really cared, nothing has motivated me to do anything, good or bad, now I've really just given up though there's nothing left to give up. Truly think that my actions from the last few years were part of a 'plan' in a way, to make my life so bad and to reach the point where the only option left is to end it all, well that's where I am now and unsure whether to feel good or bad about it. When I say options there aren't any left, my $$ supply is just about dried up, no family or friends to turn to, there just really is not one thing anymore to keep me going, even when things were supposedly going well still had the same thoughts I do now. Sorry for making this a bit long or disjointed, have a hard time concentrating and keeping my train of thought, such a muddled mind. Like I said not sure why I joined, have visited here in the past so why join now I'm not sure why as it's really too late to save me, just have sabotaged my life so much think I'm at the point of no return.