Hi there I am finding each day a battle. It has been since I can remember being on this earth. It's like I broke and nothing every repaired me. I tried therapy and medication. My daughter will be 5 in September - I can't even imagine still being here by there. It breaks me heart as I know how me committing suicide will alter her life for the rest of her life. It isn't fair on her. I am so broken. I try and tune everything out. But I can't. The pain is unbearable. I have never kept a gun in my home knowing I'd too quickly easily use it - and like I said - I'm only hanging on to try and prevent my daughter a heart break that will never go away. I am not okay and my country doesn't have a proper suicide support structure. I literally have no friends. I literally have no family. It is so hard to breath and not to cry. I really don't want to be here. I have never wanted to. I keep licking my wounds and trying to find a way to live - have a will to live. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder some years ago. It really feels like nothing will work - I tried everything suggest. My death will be devastating on my daughter but I can't hang on. I'm trying but I can't. Even when I set later dates the day comes and I feel the same. I don't know how to be okay. I want to just be okay. I can't even achieve that.