I'm so sorry thast your husband has been unsympathetic to you. It sounds to me that he may be a big source of your saddness. Has he ever been physically Abusive to you or your children?either way it doesn't seem like a healthy relationship. Maybe you should take your kids and leave. I realize that you may feel you have nowhere to go but it sounds like you need to remove yourself from that environment. See if there are any womens or crisis centers in your area and contact them. I know that's probably not where u want to be but its only temporary, they can help you get the financial, emotional,and physical help you need to move on to a better life for you and your kids. Your children are very young and I'm sure, especially with you being a stay at home mom, thsat you are their world. As you stated, I'm sure they would rather have a happy healthy mom iinstead of one who's sad or angry. So get help for yourself so you can feel better about yourself and be the best mommy you can be. I also wonder, is it possible you could. Have post-partum depression? If u have been feeling this way for a long time that could be it. Have you been treated for any type of depression? I know I am rambling on but I sincerely want you to get better. I don't know if you read my previous posts but I lost my mom to suicide and it is a pain like no other. You may believe that since they are so young that it won't affect them as bad, but as they grow up it will affect them greatly. I feel you are still here because you are meant to be. Everyday is a new beginning. You can't change the past or predict the future, all you can do is fight for today to make tomorrow better. You and your children DESERVE it! Just remember that there are people who care about you, even if you don't know us personally, we are here for you.