I've been feeling really sad lately. I feel empty, alone,...trapped in a life that holds me down. I think of ways to kill myself. I know that I shouldn't think this way, but my attempts to better my life have been met with dead-ends. I self-harmed tonight, which just made me feel worse, but I seem to have wanted to punish myself for the pitiful life that I am living. I have been told that I have so much to live for, so much to offer the world,...but I am afraid of...it seems like everything. I have a job where I like certain aspects of it, and yet every day I wonder why I am still there. Why can't I go out and pursue a better job that will leave me more financially stable? A lot of it is fear...of the unknown, of not believing in myself, of not feeling capable. I try to think of positive things, I try to go out and do activities. But the lack of motivation, self-esteem, self-confidence...it all holds me back. I feel like a failure, I feel hopeless of anything good in my future. All I want to do is stay in my house and cry. I don't understand why I feel the way that I do. I don't know why I constantly think of the negative things in my life. It feels like a never-ending roller coaster of emotions. I am exhausted, numb, sad.