My reasons are pretty Mundane. I used to be an A+ student in high school. But ever since my transition to the best university in my country, I cant do anything right. I cant focus. I cant think straight. My grades used to be what kept me alive because I felt smart and wanted. Now I feel like a disappointment. I just feel like I dont deserve to be here. To live on campus, to eat, sleep or do anything. I have a history of neglect from my parents so my suicidal attempts are usually just for the purpose of getting attention from someone. But despite this and me seeking out for help, no one helps me. They care maybe on our first appointment and then they dont. They just say start deep breathing, all of them. Like I havn't tried that. I just dont want to let anyone down with my grades. I dont want to be useless. I just cant do this anymore. I have a lot of mental problems like anxiety and depression but also self care. I just want someone to tell me whats wrong with me so at least im self aware of them and learn how to fix them. My problems cant simply be summed up to anxiety or depression, they branch out to so many complex things that just make me feel so overwhelmed. Im just so angry at myself for not functioning properly. I wish I could have had a normal family, maybe then I'd be better. All in all living right now is a trek and i don't know if I can keep going like this.