I'm so sad. In every inch of my being sad. And I want to talk about it. Just try to get one person in this godforsaken world to understand how sad and very tired I am. But it doesn't matter. Nobody else really cares. The lip service is nice but when it comes right down to it, nobody understands and nobody really wants to. So nobody cares. I just need to be dead so badly. Then truly no more sad, bad feelings, bone breaking tiredness, pain, no more anything. Just real peace. I don't want to be dead. But I have to be dead. I've attempted 5 times now so I know it is the only thing. Nothing has changed it all remains the same time after failed time. And the attempts have been over the span of years not one after another. I have tried between attempts to get better. Maybe for some it happens. But not for me. It never will.The only thing that will change this time is I won't fail.