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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by bambi_eyes30, Oct 16, 2009.

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  1. bambi_eyes30

    bambi_eyes30 New Member

    My whole life has been hard. I've suffered from depression for a long time now I'm tired of feeling sad and depressed. Its not fair. My friends are so mean to me sometimes. I'm sorry I cant be happy too. I want to be it just doesn't happen. There isnt a morning I dont wake up and not want to cry. I'm so nice to everyone. Why do they treat me so meanly? I'm so lonely. I feel completely disconnected from the world. I just want it to be over with.
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Hi Bambi, welcome to the forum. Keep posting here, we'll help you as best we can. I've suffered from depression all of my life and it can be hard at times just like it is hard for you right now.

    Have you been to a doctor? There are treatments that can help you.

    It is hard when my friends are happy and having a good time and I'm just a blank. They ask me what is wrong and I tell them I'm in low gear.

    How are your friends mean to you?

  3. bambi_eyes30

    bambi_eyes30 New Member

    I've been to a doctor before and he said I was suffering from depression. That was four years ago. My mom refused to believe it. I've never sought professional help beyond that.Now I'm a college student who cant afford it. I'm so scared. I dont want to spend the rest of my life this way. cant focus on anything anymore. Just how tired and sad I am all the time. Something is wrong with me. I've known for a long time. Death seems so appealing. Peace at last. I feel awful for thinking those things, but for some reason I cant help it. I started cutting again today. Am I a horrible person?
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Bambi, welcome to the forum. You're not a horrible person!! Did the doctor that diagnosed you put you on medication? :hug:
  5. bambi_eyes30

    bambi_eyes30 New Member

    He recommended a psychiatrist. I never went. My mom wouldn't let me.
  6. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Go to the campus clinic. Sometimes they have intern therapist there. They also can refer you to county mental health where you can get the services you need for very little cost. Drug companies will send medication to your doctor for you when you cannot afford them.

    Stay with us sweetie, we'll walk with you through this. I imagine you are over 18 now and you have no obligation to tell your mom. I've learned that in some ways I do better when I parent myself.

  7. happiness

    happiness Member

    Hello Bambi, Your college may have free therapy sessions you can go to without having to tell your mom. The student health center (if there is one) can prescribe you medicine and your mom wouldn't find out about that either. BTW I never told my parents about my depression because they would react the same way as yours...I just went and continue to go and it's all free (psychiatrist visits, general physician visits, medicine is cheap with the school insurance co-pay). The longer you go without seeking help the worse the depression can become.
  8. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Bambi welcome to the forums.. You know you can check with your local mental health organization and find out if there are any local depression groups you could attend.. They are free and for alot of people it helps when you know there are others struggling just like you..It gives you the oppurtunity to let it out..I hope you find help and continue to come here so we can offer you support..
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