sad

[student07]

Hello,
I don't want to reveal my name here.
Life sucks now. I can't even tell this to my friends. actually i realized i don't have friends, people i met online(including SF) just pretend to be friends.They don't want to meet or behave with me like "real" friends. That sucks.
I'm feeling so lonely now. I don't know what to do all my friends left this country. I also got admission in an uni in another country but still din't recieve the offer letter, i'm scared that guy(admission manager) changed his mind or forgot about me. I'm really really scared coz i love the university, i really want to go there.
Right now i don't have anything to do till Feb 07. No friends, no work, no school.There's no point in chatting with people who don't respect me or consider me as their friend.There's another problem regarding the university, its too expensive. i know my dad can pay that much money + he will get loans but that would be too much work for him, I don't want him to work so much for me. I really don't deserve all that. I don't mind killing myself for that but i'm afraid he'll feel guilty thinking i killed myself coz the uni was too expensive(for international student). I want it to look like an accident. But WHAT SHOULD I DO? I AM SOO SCARED. I DON'T WANT SOMETHING WHICH I DON'T DESERVE.


sorry...

 

[LtRoarke]

First, suicide is not the answer. Second, you deserve everything that you've worked for, and then some. If your father is willing and wants to send you to college as an international student, then go for it. If it's truely what you want to do, don't give up. If there is one thing I have learned it is that you have to make yourself happy because if you're not happy you'll just get depressed and sink into a place you've been. I've been there, believe me, it is not pleasant! It's your future, not anyone elses. Do what will make you feel the best, the happiest.