Sad

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MoAnamCara, Dec 4, 2011.

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  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    ******
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 4, 2011
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am sorry you are so sad hun dam i hate that you are there i know how that feels hugs to you
     
  3. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Thank you for even responding.

    Appears and feels like I don't belong anywhere.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    dam depression does that hun makes us feel like we are noone YOu are someone special hun okay don't forget that hugs
     
  5. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Thanks TE

    And I know you mean well.

    It simply isn't true for me. I am not special. I am only me, that is flawed and just trying to get by.

    Someone that, tonight, is so angry at everything and everyone I just want to run.

    Someone that feels so lost, so overwhelmed.

    Someone that people claim to be friends with, yet who have disappeared. Do I expect too much perhaps? What is the point in trying? Seriously? I am tired of trying. It HAS to be me.

    So instead, everyone can just fuck off and leave me alone. okay? Does that make it easier now on you all?

    It has taken me a lot to try to reach out, try to help some people maybe, try to trust some others. Every time, this trust is broken, folks just wander off as if they didn't know me to start with. This is mirroring my life. So, it IS me, there is no other reasonable explaination.

    Therefore, there is no point in trying.

    I can be miserable old me on my own, without worrying about people here that I geninuely give a shit about.

    I can deal with this, I can last a couple of more months and depart when they do. Maybe.

    But who cares? Seriously?

    To hell with it all and to hell with everyone.
     
  6. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    What has triggered your anger?
    It is not you.
    And I care.
     
  7. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi Mo...as I said in my PM, I missed you a lot...so sorry you are feeling this way, but I surely know the feeling...please let me know what is going on...and if we can agree to disagree, I think you are very special, talented, kind, understanding, gracious, to name a few of your good qualities...big hugs and much caring
     
  8. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I care about you Mo..
    you need to look after yourself..you are important and loved..
    what you're going through must be hell..
    I hope we can help you through it.. *hugs*
     
  9. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You see hun people care and know that you are special even if you do not know that or believe it just sometimes it is hard when we all suffer with depression sometimes we go into our shell and can't seem to come out again Hugs to you
     
  10. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    Add me to the list of those who care. You're respected, too. And I'm very glad that you're back. and (((hugs))) too. Being able to post with you IS one of the nice things I can do for myself.
     
  11. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    So sorry to hear that you're feeling sad and angry. :)dunno: I think they travel together sometimes...What makes us sad can also make us angry and vice versa, and sometimes it's easier to show one of them than the other, so they hide behind each other as needed.)

    Sadeyes has already listed your many lovely qualities. Please know that you are much more than your own small estimation of yourself in the eyes of many people here. Depression tends to make us find and grab hold of the "evidence" that supports a negative self-perspective. And you're quite right, it can be hard to feel that we are deserving if people we trusted let us down. But letting someone down says more about them than about us. :hug:

    Reach out here to those you know DO care about you. There are several of us. :)
     
  12. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    So sorry to hear that you're feeling sad and angry. :)dunno: I think they travel together sometimes...What makes us sad can also make us angry and vice versa, and sometimes it's easier to show one of them than the other, so they hide behind each other as needed.)

    Sadeyes has already listed your many lovely qualities. Please know that you are much more than your own small estimation of yourself in the eyes of many people here. Depression tends to make us find and grab hold of the "evidence" that supports a negative self-perspective. And you're quite right, it can be hard to feel that we are deserving if people we trusted let us down. But letting someone down says more about them than about us. :hug:

    Reach out here to those you know DO care about you. There are several of us. :)
     
  13. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    :hug: :)
     
  14. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I apologize for being so ignorant.

    And I am very thankful to you all who responded here and by other means.

    I think it was one of those nights when it was me vs the world. Reality comes to a head every once in a while and I really get anxious and I know I need to do better at relaxing or trying to.

    Enough anyhow, but thank you again & please take care, all. :hug:
     
  15. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    You are not ignorant, you are hurting and we all understand that.

    Hope you are feeling better.
     
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