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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Trident, Mar 12, 2008.

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  1. Trident

    Trident Active Member

    the fact that my brother left with pain, sadness and very possibly anger trigger me. there was no note as well.
    I hope he did not but Ive the feeling he did very much, anger speaking, since Im sure of the pain and sadness he felt. Its eating me inside and even more since yesterday, ive no idea why since yesterday even more.

    Do you think its possible that someone on the brink of death for certain, regarding the way he chooses to leave, can forgive his family mistakes and arguments over not being able to help him or feeling abandonned
    were you in intense anger and pain over your family, sister, brother particularly when you seriously attempted
    what were your very last- deep feelings over your family
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 12, 2008
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    When my mother and brother deeply hurt me, I thought about hurting myself, then I realized, it was their problems, and as sad as I was. I could not hurt myself over other ppl's shortcomings...J
     
  3. Bob26003

    Bob26003 Well-Known Member

    """""""""""Do you think its possible that someone on the brink of death for certain, regarding the way he choose to leave, can forgive his family mistakes and arguments over not being able to help him or feeling abandonned"""""""""""""

    I do.

    Mental illness is not someone else's fault. For instance, My Brother and freinds really cannot understand what I go through. They really don't understand how serious it is.

    It is the intent that matters.

    But that is not their fault. Unless you have been through it, you cannot really understand.

    So if I come to that point, which I hope I dont. I wont be mad at anyone that I love and knows loves me.

    I will be mad at the Doctors. They are the ones who are supposed to know about it. They are the ones who are supposed to treat it.
     
  4. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    The fact that your brother left with pain, sadness and anger is hurting you, i know. But think like this: Your brother is free now. He is happy. He choose his way. Just imagine that he is now on some other place, he is at the place from his dreams. You have to be happy for him. Dont blame him, dont blame yourself, your family, no one. No one is guilty. Its noones fault. The fact is, it hurt because you want to be with him, to see him, to ask him why. But, please understand, if he would love to tell you that, he probably would. But, he didnt told you anything, because he thought that its the best. He doesnt want to hurt you. And he realised that there is no other solution. The way he choose is the easiest for all. I dont think that you will feel better if he was here, still alive, and watching him suffering all the time. Sometimes its better if we left the things just the way they are. We must accept that some things we cannot change. And even if he has told you something, I dont think that you could do much to change his mind. Please, understand me, i know how he felt, i know why he did waht he did. He has made his decision, you must accept it with respect...
     
  5. SkyHigh

    SkyHigh Guest

    When my mother deeply hurt me, I thought about hurting myself, then I remembered a poem I had listened to and made myself believe that living was the best form of revenge. I would never hurt myself just to hurt others.
     
  6. Trident

    Trident Active Member

    I know Im not guilty because I didnt wish he died. Im hurting in itself because of the pain and sadness and possible anger he must have felt.
    All I know is that I cannot accept his death, all the love you have for someone cannot make you accept his loss the way he chose to leave.
    Ive to deal with it. Sometimes, I wish I wasnt here but it wouldnt resolve anything I know.
    Thank you for your reply
     
  7. Trident

    Trident Active Member

    I wish ther mental services would have helped him soo much more.
    According to the medical reports we had after his death because we asked for them, the nurse and the shrink at the local hospital who treated him during his 2 attempts, state that he was NOT at risk but very depressed. give me a break.
    1 month after, he was gone so thats JUST wrong. Im so f..mad at the health care, I know it wont solve anything, but I just cant help anything
    Im working on my guilt process, still i feel awful and regarding to what his last emotions and feelings towards himself and his family were.
    Thank you for your kind words-

    T
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 12, 2008
  8. Trident

    Trident Active Member

    Thank you Sky for your words, I hope you r feeling a bit better than 2 hours ago.
     
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