this was the worst Christmas i've ever had: i cried for the entire day on the 25th. When i went out, NO ONE said "Merry Christmas" to me. NO ONE sent me a Christmas card. I got absolutely NO Christmas present. When i e-mailed my friends, none of them answered. That's true even today. Every time i call my friends, they hang me up and pretend that i never existed. Whenever I reach out, I am pushed away. That's so extremely sad. Last year i still got two Christmas cards. this year, absolutely NOTHING but despair, and of course, the extreme tortures from my abusers. I realize today finally that there is absolutely NO ONE that cares about me in the world. I should commit suicide in this holiday season.