Sadness and Despair

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Godsdrummer, Aug 4, 2009.

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  1. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Remain the only feelings I can trust.

    They are real. They are genuine.

    Love? Can't trust it. Won't trust it. I mistakenly gave my heart to someone who is 500 miles away. Why did I ever think THAT was going to work.

    Back at home, I was burned by my wife thanks to my own doing in my disease of alcoholism. And while we have made significant steps towards being friends, I can't trust that either.

    I dare not feel happiness. Everytime I do, something happens to drag me back down.

    Pain, Sadness, Despair, Anxiety, Depression, Drunkeness, Suicidal Ideation, these are feelings I trust. They are real. They are honest.
    They are the only feelings I am going to let in anymore.

    Unless God chooses otherwise.
  2. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    hey there ..
    i understand where ur comming from :hug:
    sorry if this sounds like im repeating myself .. but have u tried talking about this in a meeting?
    im always here if u fancy a chat x
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    All these feelings are ones that you are used to You are actually comfortable with because you have come so accustomed to them. I am glad you are working on being friends with your X that is a start. Trust well thats a hard one because as you i won't trust anyone anymore. Happiness that is a feeling one has to grow into as well because something seems wrong when this feeling comes along one keeps thinking okay what is going to happen to screw this up again. I hope you do start to feel happiness and slowly get accustomed to it and comfortable with it because you certainly deserve to be happy just as anyone else deserves this emotion. Our mind has to be open to thinking that we are just as important as anyone else and dam it we deserve to be as happy as anyone else.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi bill,

    :hug: I'm sorry your relationship didn't work out,but just because that one didn't, doesn't mean another one wont. Dont give up!
  5. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    It's not over yet. is going to be very difficult.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Aww,keep working at it hun :hug:

    whats making it difficult?
  7. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

  8. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    I want to clarify something. I trust my g/f completely with my heart. Problem is, I dont trust myself to allow this to work when the distance is so vast.
  9. adalana

    adalana Member

    yeah that kind of feeling is happen to me

    love, miracle, etc its kind of something that felt unreal, every moment i'm high with it shit happens and drag me back down to abyss of despair

    and its true, i have a lot of friend right now, they are sadness, pain, agony, despair, etc

    this world somehow felt so suffocating

    but still, i dont find any way out in suicide, it never stop the problems, it just cause trouble to everyone dear to you

    so what's just the **** we have to do

    sigh* shrug*
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