Remain the only feelings I can trust. They are real. They are genuine. Love? Can't trust it. Won't trust it. I mistakenly gave my heart to someone who is 500 miles away. Why did I ever think THAT was going to work. Back at home, I was burned by my wife thanks to my own doing in my disease of alcoholism. And while we have made significant steps towards being friends, I can't trust that either. I dare not feel happiness. Everytime I do, something happens to drag me back down. Pain, Sadness, Despair, Anxiety, Depression, Drunkeness, Suicidal Ideation, these are feelings I trust. They are real. They are honest. They are the only feelings I am going to let in anymore. Unless God chooses otherwise.