said i never do this

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by total eclipse, Jul 31, 2009.

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  1. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i am so far gone in pain there ns no rationality to this when someone drives to a point of insanity when they have no compassion for what they do to you
    dam it i can't keep having the dam attacks flashbacks anxiety attack not able to breath or think clearly even husband hates me this way walked away just now i am not going to wait this time for a phone call saying she has done it again i am not doing this again i can't god said i never do this but really no one will even care they are better off without my insanity my inability to cope iam better off not living the horror over and over again in my brain. totally totallly drained
     
  2. triggs

    triggs Account Closed

    mary :hug: please stay and talk! you can't say you wouldn't be missed because you would! and we could care too! i know flashbacks are incredibly hard to deal with and the pain never seems like it's going away but it will! :arms: please stay and talk hun! xx
     
  3. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    compassion is a valuable trait and sadly, i think, not enough people are compassionate. but its no flaw. you cant take responsibilty for others actions, not when you feel so bad. just stay strong, we want to help.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Please help me understand i jsut don't know where togo to get awaay from the pain the horrible anxiety she doesn't care about me i know it is her illness but it hurts so much everything i can't breath she doesn't care i am so ill and they tell me no one can help i have to do it. i don't understand i tried the meds i try therapy i try anxiety coping skill but no one tells you how to stop the pain no one i hate the fact i can't get it to go away why won't she care how i feel im her mother i care so much for her yet she shows no compassion no insight my pain yes is my own and i just don't want it anymore
    i want peace i want to go away please christ i am so sorry i said to reach out i said there is always help but i have to want it right i have to want ot stay. Please just someone i know you can't do anything but the pain is so great tonight it is overtaking my thoughts.
     
  5. triggs

    triggs Account Closed

    :hug: can you talk to her? i really think you should hun, it would help so much - even if it's nothing about this! love/compassion can get through sometimes, even at the hardest of times, but you can see it. just try, and if not, you always have us :hug: we may not be able to take the pain away, but we can help you look to new and happier things that will help you feel better in the long run :heart: xx
     
  6. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    Sorry you are doing bad, the thing is that you have people in your life who you care about and who clearly care about you so you have to try not to get overwhelmed and not give up.:hug:
     
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    The attack is over im sorry noone tells you what to do with pain. they say heal yourself i tried i never cause anyone pain i try to keep my self togther im sorry for falling appart sorry i wasn't strong i won't do this again i can't
    im okay now don't worry im sorry im okay now.
     
  8. sweetpea0

    sweetpea0 Well-Known Member

    Glad to hear you are doing better. You don't need to say you are sorry. This is what we are here for. This forum helps when you are down. The people here care. You have helped me a lot and for that I am thankful.
     
  9. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Thanks for understanding god you guys do understand noone even gets mad at me why i went out of control again when i should have just breath breath they say god breathing does not keep me sane when i am in that kind of pain please don't let me do that again please keep me here in the present
     
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