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same horrible dream last 3 nights..

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by jimk, Jul 4, 2012.

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  1. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    cannot find a better adn fitting place to post dreams so here i am.

    trigger, trigger, trigger...

    if you are a abuse survivor maybe this thread should not be read.. last 3 nights had this dream where my disabled son johnny was in the company of my parents who have been dead for about 14 yrs.. i would rather have the devil looking after johnny than my parents..i am not kidding even a little bit.. i am without my car, no phone and in the same area of nearby tacoma around strangers who are not willing to give m an ounce of help... not even to use there phone to dial 911...

    thoughtout this dream i am having flashbacks of what they did to me long ago and my mind is imagining just what they are doing to my son johnny now.. sunday and monday early morning i woke up wit johnny standing next to my bed with his hand on my shoulder.. evidently i was making a lot of noise and vocalizing at top of my lungs.. johnny is nonverbal and very disabled but he knows when daddy is having toruble..

    i currently do not have a therapost as we said good bye a couple of weeks ago cause she is retiring..first apt with replacement is middle of august.. she does not know me and i have not a clue about here either..three mornings now tried to call crisis line and talk to a friend there and the message comes on we are not accepting calls now and all workers are busy.. this leaves me on my own..

    these dreams strike sheer terror throughout.. do not think a dream coudl be worse than these current ones.. me being hurt is old territory and am used to that.. but not johnny..

    katie ccalled and she is keeping johnny till noon today as no work for her.. she and i do not do jim's problems just casue that is the way it is.. kind of wish john was going to be here in an hour as normal on wednesday mornings... frankly i am not good company for myself.. emotional music is not good.. music with a real beat is not working at all either.. guess time to dig out dvd of animal house and see if can attach and enjoy john belushi again..
  2. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    That has to be terrifying Jim.

    I hope that the dreams are banished tonight. What a horrible horrible thing to dream. I hope you and Johnny are OK.
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