Same old story lol but plz read

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by JonRymer, Oct 19, 2011.

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  1. JonRymer

    JonRymer Member

    hey my name is jon rymer i am a 19year old white male from the bronx. im not quite at the point where the fear of pain of death outweighs the pain of life but its been getting pretty bad lol i wrote my suicide letter today and headed to manhattan to buy a gun. i felt really lost. its the messed up ecomomy. it has me feeling like ill never have a comoftable future. anyone elts feel this way?
     
  2. mother

    mother Member

    Hello JonRymer, I probably don't have a lot in common with you but I would really like you to know that someone cares. (I am older and in a different countr.)

    Please talk to someone that understands what you are going through.

    Be open to them and accepting of their help.

    I will be thinking of you </3


    mother
     
  3. JonRymer

    JonRymer Member

    thank you:)
     
  4. Eleventyone

    Eleventyone Member

    I feel that way too... I did everything my elders told me to do growing up and none of it amounted to anything...like doing well in school and staying away from drugs.
     
  5. mother

    mother Member

    Hows everything going, hope you are feeling ok atm.
     
  6. JonRymer

    JonRymer Member

    thank you, im feeling pretty good, mabey its coz the suns finnaly out lol how about u?
     
  7. mother

    mother Member

    I'm good, I hope you didn't bother getting the gun (they are nasty pieces of work).

    I hope today goes well for you.

    It's getting late here though so heading off to bed.

    Will dream good things for you:night:
     
  8. JonRymer

    JonRymer Member

    no, i decided againts it n just went for a walk thank god, hve a great nite! :sleep::hug:
     
  9. clairedelune

    clairedelune Well-Known Member

    Might as well throw that suicide letter away? It's a beautiful world, Jon. Sometimes, we just have to believe that to keep ourselves sane. :hug:
     
  10. JonRymer

    JonRymer Member

    im not killing myself today lol but that was the most beautiful letter i have ever written i have to save it for the right occasion, i spilled my heart out.. but yes today the world is beautiful i agree :hug:
     
  11. Mahi159

    Mahi159 Member

    Sooo Happy To Hear Your Not Killing Yourself Today... Wish I Felt The Same... Anyway Keep Smiling x x x
     
  12. JonRymer

    JonRymer Member

    Mahi159, whats got u down ? :sad:
     
  13. Mahi159

    Mahi159 Member

    I've posted in the forum... You'll understand once you read it... x x x
     
  14. JonRymer

    JonRymer Member

    i found 2 different posts u were in, one about scar decution and another about obsessive walking. are any of these what your talking about?
     
  15. JonRymer

    JonRymer Member

    wait, i found the one you mean im reading it now..
     
  16. clairedelune

    clairedelune Well-Known Member

    Well, if you say so, then might as well keep it then. I've written something like that two months ago too. And until now, it's still locked up inside my closet. Sometimes, it's hard to let go of something we know is proof to some held emotions.

    So you're living in Bronx? How are the hot dogs doing? Lol. Sorry for being weird. :hug:
     
  17. JonRymer

    JonRymer Member

    :hug: lol its ok, i like your sence of humor, hard to find on forums like this:) what got u to the point of writting one if you dont mind me asking ? sorry if thats too personal, im just curious..
     
  18. clairedelune

    clairedelune Well-Known Member

    Nah, it's okay. In a place like this, I'm not that embarrassed to share this to some people. Well, the time I wrote that it was 4 months before my 19th birthday and I was planning to do the thing on my 19th birthday. I don't know. Must have felt empty and felt like things were being the same for over the years I've been feeling like this. And the letter was like, almost real so I did not throw it away.
     
  19. JonRymer

    JonRymer Member

    I know how you feel, for the past year I just couldn’t find the motivation and drive for life I use to have, I felt like an old man even thou I’m only 19 lol. Boredom kills. Finally it got too much, something had to change. If your still feeling like this, can I suggest doing something out of your comfort zone or even a lil dangerous? I’m not talking about taking up robbing banks but shit like when I feel like life is getting monotonous I do shit like going to an open mic or sneaking into this place on Staten Island, NY where they have mounds of sand literally the size of a 4 story building and just messing around with friends or without. Running down a 4 story mound of sand is soo much fun, you build up so much momentum you cant stop and end up tripping and falling, plus the fact that you have to jump a huge fence to get into the yard is cool. The feeling of danger coz your not suppose to be there lol idk just try something out of the ordinary will put the drive back in life. I know it can be hard to just get the energy to get out of bed and into the car, its so much easier to lay there and feel bad, trust me I know but its worth it. Sorry for that really long reply, its just even thinking about it gets me excited lol :Jumpy:
     
  20. clairedelune

    clairedelune Well-Known Member

    Wow, I used to have those moments too. Hell I like being in risky situations like that. But I don't know, these days nothing has really caught my attention. Perhaps just too busy with college and I feel very stressed all the time. Can't even get out of the house much because I feel like staying here is what most people expect me to do. But sometimes, yeah, I do look forward to doing such things. There's just no time and nobody to invite me to doing those things. But one thing I really wanna do is to have this road trip. You know driving fast alone. But just can't. Don't have a license to drive yet. Plus, I don't own a car. :)
     
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