Same relationship patteren

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by scoopatme, Oct 7, 2010.

  1. scoopatme

    scoopatme New Member

    I was 15 when my dad killed himself and I was in my 1st reltaionship. Now I'm 19 and have the same relationship over and over again. It starts our just sex then in about 2 weeks I fall inlove and so does he. We are so close i shut out all of my friends and family thenk after some time has passed i cheat on him break up with him, crush him, and repeat the process with the guy who i cheated on the other guy with. I am in the begining stages of a new relationship and i dont want to do this again. My xbf just tells me I'm a terrifyed little girl who wants someone to hurt as much as I am and I dont want to do this anymore. How do I break this cycle? All i do is manipulate people and lie to gain power. I dont want to do this but everytime its the same fucking thing.
  2. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    Well... for starters, you recognize that what you are doing is manipulation- and it is a cycle. Do you really *want* to break it?

    I would say that one thing you can do is cut sex out of the equation for your next relationship.
    This would work if say; you would make it part of your pattern each time to have sex 3 dates or 1 week (or something) into the relationship. Instead of repeating this pattern again, hold off.
    Hold off on creating a physical bond and remain open in conversation with the person instead. Keep your distance from things that would normally serve as temptations for you to cheat and take things slower than you usually would.

    So- when would you build on the relationship and start to open yourself up more and more? Only time would tell, really... It would depend on you and how ready you actually are to be honest with this person.

    I think you may need to see a councilor about this as well, and talk about your manipulative ways so that you are more able to identify the beginning of your usual 'cycle' and able to step back and away from repeating it.