Same thoughts different day

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by melimorgue, Mar 5, 2011.

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  1. melimorgue

    melimorgue Member

    It never goes away. I wonder what it's like to wake up and actually want to be alive? I have no idea what that's like. I've tried all kinds of antidepressants and they don't work except for side effects. Like making me fat or making my stomach hurt. I don't have insurance so I don't matter. Like I do anyway. I fuck everything up in my life. I can't keep relationships. I want to die every single day. Who's going to care? I don't sleep like a normal person. I don't do anything like a normal person. I'm in pain all the time. My back hurts and my leg hurts all the time and none of the mophine or vicodin works. I feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin all the time. I can't be out and enjoy anything. I don't get excited about anything. No guys ever ask me out. I just wake up everyday after my hour of sleep and do nothing. I can't find a job. I can't even get online dates to work. Pathetic. Useless. Waste of space. It's not like I lost anything. I just never had anything.
     
  2. solutions

    solutions Well-Known Member

    It sounds like you're pretty depressed. Have you talked with anyone about the issues you're having? If your meds are making you miserable, there are alternatives, and also alternative treatments.

    You don't have to feel miserable. Talk to someone who's in a better position to help you, whether it be a friend, a clinician, or someone close to you. Is there anyone at all you could contact?

    If you're seriously considering suicide and you have a plan for carrying it out, it's very important that you seek help.
     
  3. melimorgue

    melimorgue Member

    I'm not on anything except pain meds. I tried going for help before and got yelled and screamed at and strip searched. I don't have anywhere to go. I don't have friends to talk to. I don't have family to talk to. The places to go just push all these meds and nothing changes. I go back to the same place I was before. I just want this to be over. I can't deal with it anymore. I need to do it right this time.
     
  4. Stormrider

    Stormrider Well-Known Member

    Didn't have any serious relation in my life and got a pile of other problems too. Can't really talk about anyone about it, writing here doesn't change it but sometimes it helps a bit. Just need to believe someday it'll be better and take it one day at a time untill then.
     
  5. solutions

    solutions Well-Known Member

    Well, suicide is always an option for you. It might be the one you choose as a solution. Just make sure you're considering it rationally. Have you exhausted all your resources? Is there anything else you can do? Completing suicide is more difficult than most people imagine, and the consequences are pretty nasty.
     
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