Same useless rant.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Jasv, Dec 12, 2014.

  1. Jasv

    Jasv Well-Known Member

    All I want is for someone to love me. I want someone to hold me and to tell me everything is going to be okay. I want someone to look into my eyes and just know there's something wrong with me, but.. I don't have any of that. I'm so sad. The sadness.. it's so overwhelming. I feel like I can't breathe because of it sometimes, but no one knows anything is wrong with me. Is it because I'm good at hiding it? or because no one cares? Sometimes I'm glad that other people are happy, but I'm still sad, because I'm still left behind. I'll always be an extra in this world. A person with no importance. That has no meaning. People use me. That's all I'm good for. I hate myself. I hate who I am. I hate who I've become. I hate feeling this way. This feeling I have, it's nonstop. If you supposedly love me, why can't you see me? I don't want to die, but I can't stop myself from trying. I just want people to pay attention to me. How can I love myself though when I hate everything about me? When I'm dead, would you be able to see me then? Would you be able to love me? Would you be able to listen? Once, I'm gone, that's it. I'm gone for good. I'll never come back. Is that what it has to take to makes these feelings go away? To make you notice me? Living hurts me. I'm so tired of being in pain.

    What do you see when you look at me? Can you tell I'm killing myself? Please make me stop. Take my pain away. I want you to save me from myself. The other me, she's hurting me. It hurts so bad. Being alive, it hurts.. How useless can I possibly be? I can't even save someone else, so how can I save myself? I'm as good as dead.

    Everyone looks down on me. Does everyone really hate me? It doesn't even matter. I'll feel better tomorrow morning and then it'll start again.
  2. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    I too, have felt much like you, and so many of the things you say are carbon copies of imprints on my mind... The one thing about leaving for good though, is that it never gives you the chance to set things right. Everything you hope for--despite what you may believe--is still attainable. Of course, if you go you'll never know. If there are decisions you have made that have led you to this point, or mistakes that are eating your conscience as we speak; simply acknowledge them, accept the loss, and move forward. That's how we learn and develop, grow and prosper. Hopefully! : ) try not to focus on anybody else (& their worthless opinions). And please give yourself permission to go easy on the self-critiques..:)
  3. queensfilmer

    queensfilmer New Member

    i dont know where to start ive been through so much in life i cant even say i dont feel the same way, its more or less an issue of making things simple in a way you can enjoy yurself and not take liffe too seriosuly try to forget about things that are destroying your heart and make an even effort to make sure you haqve some sort of life in this world just dont give up life is sometimes a rough jounrney and wen we look inside ourselves and see what were made of we can sometimes institute a part of life that can be not seen on the surface and held accountable as the way