Hey SF well where do i begin ? i had it tough growing up like a lot of you all out there people. mum put me in hospital. told me she did not love me. stole from me. dad dead out of the picture. truma nightmares. told me i was the biggest mistake of her life all before i was 6. when i did approach the ripe old age of 6 i moved in with my grandparents. was in a mental help for a while. care workers.social workers the lot .. Never fitted into school primary or high school. Never Made much friends. find it hard no confidence at all. never made much friends but that did not bother me. Until recently (3 years) i had these feelings of sadness slowly it crept up i brushed it off said it was nothing moved along with life brave smile all the rest. then for the past year it has got worse and worse i brake down cry myself to sleep thinking whats the point whats the point when it feels like sufication no one trully understands what the f**k goes through your mind. waking up in cold sweat fear voices i feel so scared and alone empty sheel of a human being all this weight pressing down on me. i knew things where bad when i was in hospital and the doctor said i could have died but i did not care or boter showd no emotian to my near death. i do not want to bore you in reading this but i feel this is my last chance i am to shy to pick up the phone btw i am 18..