Sanity Or Insainity?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Unkown, Jan 15, 2010.

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  1. Unkown

    Unkown New Member

    Hey SF :)

    well where do i begin ?

    i had it tough growing up like a lot of you all out there people.
    mum put me in hospital. told me she did not love me.
    stole from me.
    dad dead out of the picture.
    truma nightmares.
    told me i was the biggest mistake of her life
    all before i was 6.
    when i did approach the ripe old age of 6 i moved in with my grandparents.
    was in a mental help for a while.
    care workers the lot :)..

    Never fitted into school primary or high school.
    Never Made much friends. find it hard no confidence at all.

    never made much friends but that did not bother me.

    Until recently (3 years)
    i had these feelings of sadness slowly it crept up
    i brushed it off said it was nothing moved along with life
    brave smile all the rest.
    then for the past year it has got worse and worse
    i brake down cry myself to sleep thinking whats the point
    whats the point when it feels like sufication no one trully understands
    what the f**k goes through your mind.
    waking up in cold sweat fear voices i feel so scared and alone
    empty sheel of a human being all this weight pressing down on me.
    i knew things where bad when i was in hospital and the doctor said i could have died but i did not care or boter showd no emotian to my near death.

    i do not want to bore you in reading this but i feel this is my last chance
    i am to shy to pick up the phone

    btw i am 18..
  2. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    aww :hug: I'm sorry you went through hard times...I was in foster care as well but it was because my father was abusive and my mother was ill...I know what its like to be bounced off from home to home and having to make new friends everywhere you go and losing the ones you made previously...

    do you go to school? Is there any social club you could go to make friends?
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