Sanity?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Rasha, Oct 23, 2012.

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  1. Rasha

    Rasha New Member

    I have ran out of things to keep me sane.

    I used to have friends for that. But when I fell ill with depression and such, they all abandoned me. All but one, my best friend. She died 6 years ago to an illness, which she told me nothing about. I didn't even get to say goodbye to her. I had some "friends" after that, but eventually I got completely left alone by them as well. So that's friends ruled out.

    Out of me & my 3 brothers, I was always the unwanted one because of my gender. After I moved out to live on my own I haven't had any contact with my father and barely any with my mother. Well, no family either to help with the whole sanity thing.

    3 years ago I met someone I fell in love with. We dated for about a year and broke up, because of me and me being ill. We stayed friends for a long time after that, meeting regularly and just general talking. This year, on my birthday, I got called as a bitch by him, among other things alike and he hasn't talked to me since. Which rules him out as well. He was the last thing keeping me mentally in one piece and now... I don't know. I'm scared.
     
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    There are many people here who understand both depression and trying to maintain sanity without many or with no close support structure to assist. When my real life friends all disappeared after I got sick I found many more supportive people here then I ever knew existed. Please feel free to let us know what we can do, or just talk in chat or by private message if the forum is not comfortable for you. I can't guarantee we can help you find sanity but at least you won't have to search for it alone...

    Take Care and Be Safe

    Ben
     
  3. Rasha

    Rasha New Member

    The thing is, I used to have people to talk to online. He turned them all against me. But he completely refused to tell me if I even had done something to deserve it. I have dissociation as well and prior to that, I had lost my memory from a few days. Then on my birthday I got that from him out of nowhere.

    I've just had enough. I hate being like this, I hate losing my memory and then wondering what on earth I have been up to, I hate feeling so anxious and suicidal constantly. Sigh. I do go to therapy (3rd year going) and vocational rehab (1st year) but even from those places I don't get any help. A year ago I was extremely suicide and I can honestly say it's rather of a miracle I'm still alive. I did ask for help loads of times from therapist etc, told them why I need help. All I got was some pills which do nothing for me, thanks to having naturally an extremely high resistance against medicine in general. I tried asking help few weeks ago and again, nothing. I don't feel like trying anymore when it's such a waste of energy.
     
  4. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    Maybe it's time to get a new therapist... I hate losing friends to my depression, too, it's terrible... Don't bother wasting time on why this one left you, or what you did or didn't do to deserve it, because with this disease, it almost doesn't matter. People feel as if they have a built in excuse to bail (well, they're just mentally ill, and cannot be helped)... Don't give up hope! There's people out there that care, you've just got to find some of them.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 24, 2012
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