Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Adillac, Jan 22, 2013.

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  1. Adillac

    Adillac Member

    I'm 30 yrs old, alcoholic/heroin addict. 4 months sober but can't be happy. If everyone could just understand how uncomfortable being sober is for me. I should have died five months ago when I shot up too much heroin while I was drunk. My heart stopped and I wasn't breathing for several minutes until my brother gave me CPR. Today, I wish I had stayed dead. I don't even know why I can't function like normal people. Since I was 10 yrs old I've known I was never going to be happy like other people. No such thing as love, trust, purpose, meaning...if I can't be happy and content, then why am I trying to stay sober? Fuck life.
  2. paulhewson

    paulhewson Well-Known Member

    I could have written your post, except for the heroin part. Completely unhappy life since childhood, for what reason, I don't know. Unable to feel happiness?....Four months sober is a great start. I know it's tough. I'm in the same boat you are, four months sober, but I am 20 years older. Made so many mistakes in life. You have the advantage of being young. At least give it some more time. Hold out for as long as you can.
  3. Raphael1

    Raphael1 Well-Known Member

    You do have a chance. You have a chance if you just give yourself a go at your destiny you could find something that you can't see in the fog of your despair right now.

    Sure you can give up before it's finished, but where is the reward in giving up purpose meaning, everything.

    Value life, or you wont have life!

    If you don't have life you wont even feel anything. And then you won't even know what you are missing. A fate worse than all your current struggles.
    Even in the afterlife, the zeal for life depends on you. grass not greener on the other side. Different maybe, but you only get what you reap.

    If you lose your zeal, you can be dominated by all sorts of forces which will take advantage of you, and you won't even be aware of it.
    To give your power away, your very life an essence, is a fate worse than any death. Surrendering to life, is like walking away from the greatest gift you could ever have. only to snuff ourself out of existence.

    Your reward for that will be a dissolution.

    It's up to you.

    Just think about who I am why Im saying it though. This is not an accident.
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