I wrote this while working, I keep writing small notes like this, so might as well post some here, maybe this way I'll stop writing them. 3:45 am. Saturday night, spent the last hour punching the desk, the wood in the bathroom and poking myself with a pen, my left arm is bleeding as a result. It constantly hurts everywhere, I can't take the pain anymore. I'm constantly thinking about suicide and the stupid little **** that **** my **** can't help me either. I don't think I can do this work like this every night as it is to hard. The pain is overwhelming. I realy think I need medication.