last week was the worst ever, i finally hit rock bottom. i started taking my meds and all week i felt myself getting lower and drifting away, getting more anxious,nervous and paranoid with each day. lastly my mind cleared and on saturday i spent a nice day with my kids, i took them home then i went home. i checked on my partner or ex as she is and her girls, they were watching tv. i then slipped out and drove to a place i have rented, started drinking and got all my pills out and was ready to go. at the last minute my friend found me and stopped me before i could do it. my ex had found the note and my will that i had left and called him and he saved me. everyone was crying and it was the worst feeling ever to see how close i had come and the effect it had on those i care about. now i need to sort my head out and recover from this, maybe i need to be more selfish, dunno. all i know is i can't get that bad again. long road but i need to travel it and see what happens.