i tried to kill myself 2 nights ago, i cut my hand with a razor last night in the shower (no blood though, just superficial slits in the skin), i've been feeling crap all day, i'm not seeing my psychologist until next monday, and i need help now. i know my friend is really worried and she doesn't want to lose me because we basically keep each other alive but i can't handle it anymore. i have so many plans of ways to kill myself. i tried to kill myself 3 times in 1 hour the other day and i spent an hour on the phone to kids helpline last night under my doona, hoping my parents wouldn't come in. i'm going through the scariest time of my life right now, and i don't know how to tell anyone with actual power. i've told multiple phone/online counsellors and my two closest friends in the world, but i don't know how to tell anyone else, even my boyfriend. i really want to get help, real help, but i just don't know how. please help! as soon as i get into the shower, i'll see that razor and that goddamn pumice and that urge will get too strong and this time, this time i might actually get some blood out and that might just be enough to make me weak enough for the actual suicide attempt to work... please, no cheesy 'you'll be ok' crud because i won't be. i can't pull through on my own. even if i just have someone to talk to... please, please, please help me. and you know, this thread might not even get approved until it's too late... i think i'm going to cry. oh, and i just thought of another way to SH:< edit mod total eclipse method> but i don't give a crap. who cares, when one is planning to kill oneself?