Saved by the bell?maybe, not sure - part4

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by readytoctb, Jan 11, 2010.

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  1. readytoctb

    readytoctb Account Closed

    We met for dinner last night, first time it was just me and her in over a month. I begged, prayed, hoped and feared all week leading up last night that something would be revealed, good or bad, positive or negative, something from which I could either hang my hopes on or give them up completely. Nothing however was what I got, no hopes that she was coming back and nothing saying she was planning on leaving completely. So again tonight I will go to bed knowing that tomorrow and the next day and the one after that ...I will be all alone. I am so tired of just being in limbo, so tired of suffering in pain everyday with neither hope nor finality. Maybe its best if I just go ahead with my plans, after all if she is really inclined to go or stay it won't matter since I won't be around anymore. I am so confused, I just want the pain to end and I don't really care how it is that it ends, just that its over. I wish she would have just said it was over, at least then I would be at peace.
     
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Then why not ask her right out. Dont leave it to chance. Meet her for coffee. Tell her exactly how much this not knowing is hurting you and how drastic it makes your thoughts. Tell her that you need to know one way or the other. But this "limbo" is Hell and you cant be left like this.
     
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