Yeah yeah another rant. Maybe my final one with any luck. Reading one post tore my heart out today. Felt like it had been ripped out and just tossed away. Yet again i let myself get hurt. I doubt very much that the person even knows what they just did. Ain't nice being lied to. I swore to myself i would not get hurt again but i kept putting up with it. After seeing a post i realised that i'm gonna get hurt more than i could ever imagine. I'm not getting hurt again especially like that. So i'm gonna make it easier on myself. The way i make it easier doesn't matter. As long as i know what needs to be done. I had a talk with the person that knows me the best yesterday. Ended up getting upset and she heard that i was upset and we talked on msn. Told her what was wrong. Told her for the first time that i'm pretty suicidal right now. She even knows that something in particular would kill me. She knows it. She ever know 'yeah i know' when i said i wouldn't be able to take it. Why do i feel like everything I've ever been told on this site by people is crap? People tell me to look after number one, will today is that day. Time to save me that hurt. I have the perfect reason as well. Failing college. Perfect. Might not be whole of the reason. But it will have to do. Attempting suicide must run in the family haha first my brother. Now ..... well. I'm gonna make it easier on me and you. Said it before. Said 'all you have to say is ... just die' You should of said it. That what you want? hurt will push me to the edge. Especially that kind of hurt. Well you MUST want that. Want me dead. Well fine. Your wish is my command.