Saving Up

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by GreenMasque, Jan 14, 2013.

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  1. GreenMasque

    GreenMasque Member

    So with the New Year finally having rolled around, the idea of goals and resolutions steaming on the table, and a major life decision looming, I think I have found something to put my energy into for the future. This whole time I have been trying so hard to find a way to be happy or to find a place that I can exist well in, and maybe that was the problem. I think now I will put my energy into saving up money and hunting down a great place to die in, and great way to go.
    So money, instead of leading to more problems, really can help solve them. I have a lot of ideas of spots that might be nice, but I wont know for sure without some research and investment.
    Has anyone else looked into a good end point? Where would you like to go?
  2. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am not certain that will be a more productive use of your time - but while considering that I notice in your previous posts you have not shared what seems to be the issues causing your pain or unhappiness. If you care to share some details about what is going on in your life perhaps we can jointly find ways to make improvements or better the situation?

    Take Care and Be Safe

  3. GreenMasque

    GreenMasque Member

    Who knows what the cause of my pain or unhappiness is? I certainly don't. My life is probably no worse than any other persons. We all have bad stuff. Maybe it's not even the bad stuff, as a cause. It could just be that Im not supposed to be here, or my role is done, and I am now redundant. Could be that I learned that this simply isnt a world I can hope to happily exist on, though others can. I dont know. I dont know how to tell you whats wrong, because I dont know what that means, or what good talking really does, even if there were something to say.
    Isnt that awful? Here you are, trying to help, and I make it almost impossible. No wonder nobody gives a flying crap about me, hahaha!
  4. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    I had this very exact thought today.

    How unusual.
  5. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I'm sorry you're feeling so low. :sad: Depression doesn't always have "reasons" that we can put our finger on easily. Sometimes it's like little things that just erode our sense of well-being. Does that make sense? Are there little things that just get to you and add up to something bigger? Perhaps you're sitting on your feelings about something...Over time, squashing down our feelings or pretending to be OK can be as tiring and frustrating as having a lot of big, identifiable "problems" to solve.

    Depression can make us feel that our ideas/thoughts/feelings/situation are not worth discussing. Talking might nor resolve the problems themselves, but acts as a valve so we can release feelings. When we start to release those feelings, there is often more energy for dealing with and even enjoying other things. :dunno:
  6. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    I often see a lot of focus, time, and energy going into plans to end it all... and I wonder what plans had gone into first attempting to discover wellness; what therapies, what potential medications, what changes in lifestyle, what associations/dis-associations, what care and focus and time and energy... ?

    I'm not implying that attempts toward wellness have not been made (you have not provided any real insight one way or the other), but I do wonder if all attempts were tried and exhausted first before giving up and focusing on the self destruction. Surely there are avenues you have not sought out yet.
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