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Saw him today...

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by absolution, Aug 27, 2011.

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  1. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    .. So me and my friends were at the bookstore today and there he was.. with his daughters, just walking around. He looked at me and I immediately felt my fight or flight kick in. I should have been more cautious. I know that it's his town, (where the bookstore is) yet i let my guard down and now i'm paying for it.

    The flashbacks are killing me and I just... I don't want to deal with them. Why does he get to walk around like nothing happened and I have to deal with flashbacks? :cry:

    Fuck everything.
  2. Julia-C

    Julia-C Well-Known Member

    You can only be so cautious. Beyond being a prisoner of your own house you have to go out in public, and trust me, being a prisoner doesn't work.

    Flashbacks can be terrible. :hug: I am so sorry you are going through this now, and I am sorry he hurt you.

    I wish I could answer why he gets to walk around like nothing happened. Honestly I don't know anything about your story, but even if I did I doubt that a suffice answer exists.

    If you ever need someone to talk to you can send me a PM.

    Again I am so sorry you are hurting.
  3. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    :hug: thanks for the response hun.

    It's just that I'm usually cautious when I go to that town but i just forgot all about it today. Figures the day i forget, he is right there.. :cry:

    It's got to be my fault. :( idk..

    Sorry I'm making no sense.
  4. Powerpuff

    Powerpuff Active Member

    He is able to walk cause there is no justice. The worse part for me is he continues to walk freely in my dreams, I can't go somewhere else, he follows me inside my head.

    I am sorry you had that experience, hope you can find a way to move on, I know it's difficult but try we must.
  5. Julia-C

    Julia-C Well-Known Member

    Healing (forgetting) isn't a fault. You wasn't thinking about him because you are on a healing road.

    No, it's not your fault. It's his fault, but the two of you being in a random place at the same time today was simply chance. Chance is something that no one has control of.

    Dear you are making sense. Everything you are saying and feeling I have said and felt, so have countless others.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 27, 2011
  6. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    But all the healing that I've done is shattered now. Just like that...

    feel so empty.. And I hate chance.

    I'm really sorry for what you have gone through hun. Wish I could make everyone's pain go away. I say we take all the rotten people like him and cast them out at sea with nothing more than a teeny raft... if that... :cry:

    Thanks hun. I hope we all can find a way to move on. Just seems impossible at them moment.
  7. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Yes, we can feel shattered when we get shocks like that, but sometimes we "spring back" from a shock faster than from the original hurt because we've done all that processing and healing the first time. I hope you find that you do get back on your feet more quickly now. Thinking of you. :hug:
  8. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    I wrote out a letter to him and i'm feeling a little of that "spring back" :)

    Still hurts and I can't really handle many more of these flashbacks but I think i'll be okay... I really hope so..

    Thanks a billion hun :hug:
  9. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    I know exactly how you feel.

    I was at work the other day and the guy who attacked me just "popped" up behind me. I jumped a mile and very quickly went over to my team leader. She was actually very understanding and dealt with him. However I know he looked at me, not a care in the world for what he's done.

    I was left shaking and almost in tears. It isn't fair :( The same also happened the week before.. Seems our past will never go away :(

    So I am sorry for not having much advice, but I understand how you feel and want to give you loadsss of hugs hun <3

    :hug: :hug: :hugtackles: xx
  10. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    Aw hun I'm sorry. I know how much it sucks. :hug: If you need to talk you can PM me.
    :hug:s x 130813081038107471971 :)
  11. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    Aww, thanks a lot hun. Same goes to you :)

    Wishing you all the best :hug: xx
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